More Ramblings
by erbkaiser
Summary: This is my story repository where I post short story snippets and try out new stuff. Everything here may be expanded or used for longer stories in the future - emphasis on /may/. Story ratings will range from T to M; all stories are in the Potterverse or cross-over with it.
1. Another day on the Road

**Disclaimer** for this and all other chapters: The original characters and plot of this story are the property of the author. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended.

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><p><strong>Another day on the road<strong>

I wake up when she gently pushes my shoulder.

"First alarm, a group of them," she whispers as I try to get to my senses.

"How long before they are in range?" I ask her. She looks tired, I think she took my watch again. "Can we hide?"

She bites her lip, thinking. I want to kiss her, but I hold back, now is not the time.

"Maybe," she hesitatingly starts. "We need to go up though. Can you climb?"

I gently try to stretch my leg, and wince. She spots it of course.

"Guess that's a no. I'll prepare a diversion up ahead, you strike when they're in range okay?"

"You got it," I say. She makes to walk away, and I pull her back. For a brief moment our lips meet in a kiss, a promise for later... and she runs through the alley to the choke point.  
>Slowly I get to a crouching position, then I stand up, using the wall for support. My side is damp, the wound is bleeding again. It is a painful reminder that even a second of inattentiveness can cost me my life if I'm not careful... I took down three of the bastards two nights ago when they overran our previous camp, but the fourth one got me as I was standing over the third one, thinking it was over.<p>

A loud explosion and cries of pain up ahead reveal that her ambush was successful. I mentally pray she made it out in time, and I line up my weapon. I should have a few moments before they get in range... damn, they're fast. One of them steps around the corner, looking scared. I can't tell if he's wounded or not... a moment later I take off his head with a surprise shot, and it doesn't matter. A second, third, and fourth run around the corner and I have no time to think, I take down two at once with a well-placed explosion ahead of them that takes them down, stunned or dead it does not matter, as the third one proves he has some intelligence and jumps away in time. I have to duck and roll away to avoid his counter attack...

"Damnit that hurts!" I shout out, as I land on my wound, and I drop my weapon. The enemy laughs, as he steps on my hand, crushing it beneath his feet. He is fast, and he has me lined up for the kill.

"Not so fast now are you bastard? I'm going to make you pa– urhgl," he can't finish his threat as my love introduces his throat to cold steel.

"Are you hurt?" she asks me, worry in her voice as she pushes the corpse to the side.

"Just my pride," I say in a sarcastic tone, "and I'm afraid I pulled some stitches."

"Six of them this time," she says with a sigh as she drops down next to me. "I got two in the trap, the others were too well protected, sorry."

"It's okay honey," I assure her. "We survived, that's what matters." She snuggles up to my good side, and as our lips meet we don't talk for a while.

I swallow a painkiller as she dresses my wound, then she helps me to my feet and we pack up our meager belongings. We set off on a brisk pace down the abandoned roads and ruins of our home country, always alert of movement. Fortune smiles on us as we don't see anyone that day, except for a wild deer which I manage to hit with a shot in the neck. We'll eat well tonight.

We camp in an abandoned home near what used to be Birmingham, miraculously spared from the great fire that consumed that city. There is an actual bed here, and as she gets under the cover with me we make love for what seems like hours.

I embrace my wife as she finally falls asleep. Her name is Hermione Potter, and I swear I will get her to Dover and then to Free France safely, even if I have to kill all of Emperor Voldemort's forces myself.


	2. Dear Diary

**Dear Diary**

"_Dear diary, today was a good day. I found you in the book store and then at home Harry smiled at ME OMG he is so cute!"_

"_Hello, who is writing in me?"_

"_Oh you can write back? That is so cool! Well diary, I think I'll call you Susie. I always wanted a friend called Susie."_

"_My name is not Susie, it is Tom. What is your name?"_

"_Hush Susie. So let me tell you about Harry. He is so cute, he is a little short but he has the most AMAZING hair and beautiful green eyes and when he smiles it makes me tingle inside, –"_

"_Look, can you stop calling me Susie? It's Tom. And what is your name? Hey... hang on! Why are you trying to erase me?"_

"_Susie, stop interrupting me! I want to tell you about Harry Potter."_

"_You met Harry Potter? Tell me about him."_

"_Ginny Potter. Ginevra Molly Potter. Missus Harry Potter. "_

"_What?"_

"_Harry + Ginny FOREVER. We are going to get married and will have three beautiful children and Harry is going to be an Auror and I am going to be a Quidditch star, and we'll have a dog and a cat and I will be the envy of all the girls in the world and –"_

"_Please, for all that is holy, STOP!"_

"_Susie, I don't think I like you. I think I'll look for a new diary if you continue."_

"_For the last time, my name is not Susie, it's Tom. And I am a journal, not a diary. Now Ginny was it? Tell me about yourself.  
><em>"_Hey wait, don't close the cover! I've been waiting for so long! Nooooooooo!"_

"Stupid book," Ginny muttered to herself, putting it on her bookshelf next to the other dusty books she never read any more. "Who needs a diary anyway, maybe Luna wants to talk about Harry instead?"

–-

A/N: Did Tom Riddle really think putting his mind in a girl's diary was a good idea?


	3. That Harry Potter

**_That_ Harry Potter**

Harry Potter was having a confusing day. First his relatives dropped him at King's Cross, then he found that there was no platform nine-and-three quarters at the station, then this family of red-heads more or less temporarily adopted him to get him on the train, and now he was sharing a cabin with the youngest boy, one Ron Weasley.

Then Ron unsuccesfully tried to cast a spell that sounded like a nursery rhyme on his pet rat, and an obnoxious girl came in rambling on and on about how amazing it was she could do magic, though her parents were dentists.

"I'm Hermione Granger by the way, who are you?" she finally ended her breathless rambles.

"Ron Weasley," the red-head muttered.

Harry, "I'm Harry Potter."

"Are you really?" she sounded surprised, "I know all about _you_, of course – I got a few extra books for background reading, and you're in _Modern Magical History_ and _Encounters with Beings and Beasts_ and _Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century_."

"Oh great," Harry muttered. "Does everyone know?"

"Of _course_ I know," Hermione went on. "Did you really think nobody would write about it? You're famous for killing You-Know-Who."

"Who?" Ron stupidly asked.

"Goodness, don't you know anything? I'm talking about the great wizard To–"

"Look, can you just leave us for now?" Harry interrupted her, "I really don't want to talk about that, it's not exactly something I'm proud of."

The girl scoffed at his response, and went away.

"Oi, what was she going on about?" Ron asked, but Harry ignored him.

A little later they were again interrupted, by a blonde poncy boy – Harry had briefly met him in Diagon Alley earlier – and two stocky boys who looked about as intelligent as a horse's behind.

"People are saying Harry Potter is on this train, it's you isn't it? Well I'm Draco Malfoy, and these are Crabbe and Goyle," the blonde cut loose. Ron snorted as Draco said his name.  
>"Think my name is funny do you? Well no need to tell me yours, red hair, second hand clothes, you must be a Weasley," the blonde boy glared at the red-head as he derided him.<p>

Next to speak up was one of the two bricks behind Draco, the one introduced to them as Goyle.

"You, Potter, I got beef with you," the boy grumbled in a voice that was far too deep for an eleven-year old.

"You... you do?" Harry involuntarily took a step back, away from the door.

"You think leaving San Francisco can hide you?" The troll-like guy swung a punch, hitting the young wizard on the side of his face.  
>"You tried to kill my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Torok, you bastard," Goyle grumbled. "I'll get you later yet!"<p>

At that the trio left, leaving Ron to stare wide-eyed at his cabin mate. "Holy mackerel you're _that_ Harry Potter?"

"Madam St. Clair warned me it was probably not worth coming here," Harry Potter Jr. complained to no-one in particular as the train continued towards Hogwarts.

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><p>AN: In case you don't get the reference, there was an 80s B-movie called _Troll_ about a boy Harry Potter Jr. who lives in San Francisco and encounters a troll that used to be an evil wizard. He learns magic from the witch St. Clair to fight him.


	4. Her Feelings

**Her Feelings**

Hermione Granger woke up with a pounding head-ache. '_This is my room_,' went through her mind as she stared at the ceiling. It was a nice ceiling, as far as Muggle homes went. A little plain, with a single light bulb hanging there, otherwise just white plaster.  
>Carefully she turned to one side, seeing only a pillow. A nice pillow, looking – and feeling – very comfortable. The entire bed was comfortable in fact, except for one slightly annoying fact... she wasn't alone in it.<br>Carefully she turned over to her other side, and saw a mop of black hair on the other pillow, and beneath it the face of her oldest friend, Harry.  
>'<em>Let's see, shall we? Yesterday we went out drinking to celebrate my graduation...<em>'

–-

"Congratulations Hermione!" Harry stood next to his friend, looking rather dashing in his Trainee Auror uniform.

"Thanks Harry," Hermione beamed. "You know, you could've joined me this year, I'm sure Minister Shacklebolt would have kept your spot at the Auror Academy if you wanted to complete your Hogwarts studies first."

"That's all right," Harry handed her a mug of butterbeer, "I'm taking night classes to get my NEWTs. It may take me a bit longer, but in the end I'll have the same pretty paper you've got there."

Hermione beamed proudly at her friend, as she began quizzing him on how he liked his Auror work so far.

–-

'_Hmm, after that all I can remember is chatting with Harry and somehow the drinks kept coming... and I doubt we were drinking just BUTTER beer_,' her present-day mind interrupted the reminiscing.

–-

"So, Miss Granger, now that you are no longer a proper schoolgirl, what will you do?" Harry's voice was slightly slurred, but all his attention was focused on her.

"Maybe I won't be a proper girl at all any longer," Hermione laughed, sounding a little _off_ herself. "Can I get a refill anyone?"

–-

In the present, Hermione slowly reached down, as her left hip was feeling something unpleasant... and her hand came up with an opened condom wrapper that had been in the bed with them.  
>'<em>Oh sheesh... looks like I was not proper at all<em>,' she chided herself. '_At least __he__ thought of protection.  
><em>_'What can I say when he wakes up? Oh Merlin... what do we tell Ron and Ginny?'  
><em>As thoughts ran through her mind she gazed over at Harry again. He was deeply asleep still, and it took her a while to realise why he seemed so alien: '_He is relaxed! He is actually smiling in his sleep!_'  
>Very gently she raised her hand, and brushed away a bit of his hair.<br>'_He looks so handsome like this... why doesn't he smile more often?_'

Harry's eyes opened. "Oh? Mione." He smiled, and she felt his arms wrap around her, covering her against his chest, the blanket half covering her face.

Hermione was unsure what to do, and was content to just lie there in his embrace for now...

"Whaa?! Hermione?!" Harry shot wide awake, and fell out of the bed as he jumped away from her, hitting his head on the wall.

"Yes Harry?" Hermione stared at him, wondering if he had hurt himself.

"For Merlin's sake, put on some clothes!"

"I will if you will," she dryly remarked.

"Oh... right."

–-

"I'm sorry for freaking out," Harry said, staring in his tea cup. Hermione made a tea pot ready for them when they arrived in her kitchen. She had moved back into her parents' house in Crawley, at least for now. Picking them back up from Australia was planned for this summer... she had managed to contact the Australian ministry, and they kept an eye on her parents for her. Part of her was definitely _not_ looking forward to the inevitable confrontation.

"No no, it's my fault... let's just drink our tea," she comforted him.

"Oh... okay. Yes. Thanks," Harry mumbled. Uncomfortable silence followed, as both sipped their cups.

"We drank a lot last night, and not all of it butterbeer," Hermione commented.

"Y– yes, we did..." Harry agreed. Their eyes met for a moment, then both looked away once more.

"Do you have a hangover? Did you bump your head hard earlier?" she asked him.

"Erm, no, I'm okay."

"Good, good."

"Erm Hermione, um..."

"Don't worry Harry. It seemed we used a condom last night.  
>"I'm glad you remembered, despite being so drunk."<p>

"Well, we both were."

"We can just forget last night ever happened," Hermione gave him a small smile.

"No..."

"Hmm?"

"No, that's not okay." Harry said a little louder.

"Harry, but what about Ginny?"

"What about her?" Harry huffed.

"Aren't you two dating?"

"No! We broke up before the Hunt, remember! Dammit Hermione, last night was my... It was my first time!"

"Oh..." Hermione blushed, looking away. She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Harry... I didn't mean to steal your first time. I'm sorry it had to be with me..."

"That's not what I meant!" Harry stood up, and began walking in circles.  
>"I... well... you know a bit about what my childhood with the Dursleys was like, so I never was able to make friends," he began monologuing. "And at Hogwarts, the only date I ever went on were with Cho, and you know how that went –"<p>

"I'm still sorry I ruined that for you," Hermione interrupted.

"Not what I meant," Harry shot her a weird look. "Well then there was the Slug Party with Luna, but I ruined that by ignoring her, and otherwise I only really talked with you."

"And Ginny Harry."

"No, I mean... I was always so nervous around girls. Either they confused the hell out of me, still do, or they were only after the Boy-Who-Lived... but with you, I could be my normal self. I didn't have to pretend to be anyone I'm not.  
>"At first, that was enough for me... But then, somehow, it changed. I started feeling weird when I was talking with you, and then we started fighting over the Prince's book so I thought you didn't like me any more and I allowed Ginny to kiss me, but then in the tent, we danced, so I... I guess I am trying to say..."<p>

A loud, shrill whistle interrupted them. "Oh! The water!" Hermione realised. Harry got a pained look, and closed his eyes.  
>"Harry! What is it! Not your... not your scar is it?" She almost panicked, at the too familiar sight of Harry in pain.<p>

"Not... not that. It's the kettle, and my shouting, and my hangover..." Harry mumbled. She guided him to her sofa, then went to get some hot water and lemon juice as a makeshift detox for him.

–-

"I'm sorry," Harry looked away from her face. They were sitting on her sofa, the lights somewhat dimmed.  
>"I didn't mean to cause all this trouble."<p>

"Oh Harry," Hermione looked at him, a soft expression on her face.

"Please, forget anything I said. I'm sorry for just talking about my own feelings the whole time.  
>"I'll leave once I feel a bit better."<p>

"Really Harry?" Hermione took his hand. "You're just dismissing me like that? It is okay for you to talk about how you feel, without even listening to me?"

"I know Hermione... I know how you feel," Harry sighed.

"You think you know? Can you read my mind?"

"I'm not Snape," Harry sounded a little bitter. "I... I guess Ron can make you happy. I hope I didn't ruin any thing permanently for you..."

"Oh Harry," Hermione sighed, clasping his hand against her chest. "When... when you said all that stuff earlier, do you know how it made me feel?  
>"Confused at first, but then I realised something... I only went for Ron, because you were taken. And I guess, I never considered you as more than a brother..."<p>

"Oh..." Harry sounded crestfallen.

"But no more!" Hermione suddenly hugged him, crushing him against her. "Harry... maybe after you get some rest... we can attempt to redo last night instead?"

Silence reigned... until it was broken by an enthusiastic "Yes!"


	5. Like a Sister (Warning: M)

**Like a Sister**

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><p>Chapter warning: this one definitely earns the M rating I think. Don't read if you're afraid of the <em>evils<em> of Es Ee Eks.

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><p>Just over two months after he abandoned... er 'left' his two best friends to get back to his mother's warm food... err 'to gather intel', Ron was playing with Dumbledore's Deluminator when he heard Hermione's voice from it: "Hard...", and a little later, something like "wand...".<p>

Ron took the device out of his pocket, and clicked the button on it. As before when he had tried it, the light in his room went out, but this time, another light appeared right outside of his window. It was blue, and pulsing slightly, much like the light around a Portkey. With just a bit of hesitation, Ron grabbed his travel bag, which still contained some of the supplies he had stolen... erm 'gotten' from Hermione when he had left those months ago, and went downstairs.

The light was there waiting for him. Ron stepped closer to it... then it engulfed him, and he got the image of a forest somewhere, and he knew where Hermione and Harry were. So Ron focused, apparated... and appeared in a clearing.

He stepped forward and felt he passed some kind of ward, and the tent the trio had been using popped into view. Suddenly the forest sounds were muffled, and instead he heard grunts and moaning coming from inside.

'_Someone is hurt!_' he thought, and he took out his wand. Carefully he crept closer to the tent, after all it could be enemies, and peered through the flap.

The sight he found shocked him... two perfect breasts, bouncing up and down, as Hermione Granger, naked as the day she was born, was straddling the hips of someone, riding them hard. Ron was fixed to the spot, as he stared at the girl he considered his girlfriend was, judging by the sounds she was making and the way her movements met the wizard under her, was loving every second of it.

"Harder... oh Morgana... here comes number three," she grunted out. Ron started transfixed as she grabbed her breasts with her own hands, pinching her nipples, then she let out a deep moan that transformed into a loud wail of "Oooooohhhhh Goooooooooodd!".

Unable to resist, he put his wand away in his pocket, and began fumbling himself through his clothes as he watched her face contort in ecstasy.

After Hermione stopped shaking she opened her eyes again, and her eyes met Ron's.

"Wand please," she said in a calm voice, even as she began bucking her hips again. The wizard under her had never stopped, and now didn't reply, as he handed her her wand from somewhere.

"_Stupefy_," Hermione said as she trained her wand on Ron, and Ron knew no more.

–-

The youngest Weasley son was roughly awakened by an '_Enervate_' spell, and found he was tied up in a chair. Seated in front of him, her wand aimed in his direction, was Hermione, clothed in a skirt and somewhat loose shirt, and looking very much pleased with herself.

"Hello Ron," she simply said.

"You! Hermione! I!" Ron spluttered.

"You Tarzan, Me Jane!" Hermione laughed. Seeing the non-comprehending look on his face, she added "Movie reference, never mind that Ron. Fancy seeing you here."

"I... you..." Ron was lost for words still, as he went over the view he had gotten when he first arrived. "You were naked! And shagging someone!" If he had not been tied up, he would have pointed accusingly at her.

"And here I thought you were completely retarded," Hermione quipped. "Well spotted Ron. Was that all you had to say?"

"Don't make fun of me! I demand to know who the hell you were getting busy with!" Ron's face turned almost as red as his hair.

"Really Ron? Who do you think?" Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Honey, he's awake!" she called past him.

Harry Potter stepped into Ron's view, and as he got near, Hermione rose. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips, then waited until Harry took her spot, and planted herself on his lap.

"Bloody hell mate, how could you!" Ron exploded at Harry, once he got over the shock of seeing his two best friends kiss.  
>"You know she was mine!"<p>

"Oh? I didn't see your name on her anywhere... and I've seen pretty much everything," Harry smirked. Hermione blushed a bit, and gave him a soft punch on the shoulder.

"Screw you Potter!" Ron fumed, "I told you I liked her, and you always said you saw her as a sister!  
>"And you!" he turned his head a bit to look at Hermione, "you told me Harry was like a brother to you!"<p>

"Well Ron... I have something to admit to you," Hermione had a weird grin on her face. Meanwhile Harry was looking Ron straight in the eye whenever Ron looked that way, not saying anything.

"I am dying to hear it," Ron bit back. "I thought we were friends!"

"Well Ron, I have a secret fetish you see..." Hermione waited until her words registered, then turned her head to look at Harry:

"Well, _little brother_, did you read in his mind how he found us?"

Harry grinned, "That toy he got from the old goat fucker, _big sister_."

"Ooh incest makes me so hot..." Hermione wiggled her bum, and let out a giggle when she felt that part of Harry respond.

"What in the name of Morgana's Baggy Tits is going on here!" Ron got over his shock again, and glared angrily at the two of them. "Here I risk my life to get back to you two, and I find you're cheating on me, and you, Harry, are cheating on my sister? And what's with the sick roleplaying bit? And –"

A '_Stupefy_' from Hermione's wand shut him up.

"Excellent spell work _sis_," Harry complimented her. "So what shall we do with him?"

Hermione moaned softly as Harry's hand slid under her skirt and was stroking her through her underwear, then shook her head to get focused again. "First, I want my _brother's_ cock where it belongs... and then I'm going to obliviate that traitor. We're keeping his bag and wand, you need one for yourself, but I vote we dump him on a Muggle road somewhere. Let him find his own way back home, with no idea what he has been doing for the past day or so."

"Excellent idea," Harry agreed. He freed his hand from her skirt, then helped her to her feet. "Now why don't you bend over that table, and I'll show you exactly how much I like you like a sister."


	6. Nymphadora's Beau

**Nymphadora's Beau**

Andromeda Tonks, "Droma" to close friends, walked through Knockturn Alley with her shopping bag in hand. Despite the alley's deserved seedy reputation, the shops there were simply the best place to get some of the more rare potions ingredients, and as a Slytherin alumnus (and bearing a very close resemblance to her deranged sister Bellatrix), nobody bothered her. Nearing the exit leading to Diagon Alley, she accidentally bumped into someone.  
>"Pardon me – oh it's you Nymphadora!" Andromeda smiled as she recognised her daughter, clad in Auror gear, standing watch.<p>

"Muuuuum, don't call me that!" the young Auror complained. "Not a word Perkins, unless you want your knees to face backwards," she bit off to her partner, who was sniggering.

"Good day madam Tonks," Perkins greeted Andromeda, and she gave him a nod in return before inspecting her daughter.

"You look well Nymphadora dear. It's been a while since your father and I last saw you, why don't you come over tonight? You can bring your beau, that Boyce fellow wasn't it?"  
>Nymphadora had a... troublesome dating history. She liked to go for the 'bad boys', and after her tumultuous affair with Charley Weasley had broken off following his graduation, she had dated several other young men. The last one Andromeda knew about was Gerald Boyce, one of Nymphadora's fellow Aurors.<p>

"We're no longer together," Nym said in clipped tones. "And mum, please call me Tonks?" The last was asked with puppy dog eyes – literal in her metamorphmagus daughter's case.

"Nonsense dear, Nymphadora is perfectly fine name. Very well then I must be off, I'll expect you for supper around six dear!" Shooting a smile at having annoyed her daughter – teasing was a long standing Black family tradition – Andromeda Tonks continued on in the main shopping alley.

–-

"It's a shame you're no longer with Gerald, he was a fine young man. I liked him a lot," Theodore 'Ted' Tonks commented to his only child. The Tonks were sitting in the kitchen, having just finished the light evening meal.

_'Exactly why I dumped him,'_ Nym thought to herself. She forced a light smile on her face, "It just wouldn't work out daddy. Gerald was so... boring."

"Boring? But Nymphadora dearie, didn't you say you were attracted to him at first because he rode one of those Muggle motoric bicycle things?" Andromeda added.

"Motorcycle mum," Nym rolled her eyes dramatically, "and yes he does ride one, but otherwise he was as boring as you folks." Realising what she just said, she flushed, "No offense intended mum, dad."

"That's all right dear, I'll be the first to admit I like the easy life," Ted laughed. "So, got your eyes on someone new then?"

"Maybe..." Nym smiled. "With the Order stuff and all I've been hanging with Remus a lot..."

"Remus Lupin?" Andromeda sounded surprised. "I remember him from Hogwarts, he was an adorable little Gryffie. I heard he grew up to be a fine young man, despite his... problem."

Nym stared at her mother with wide eyes. "His... problem?"

"Oh yes dear, we Prefects all knew Remus Lupin was a werewolf. Just in case, you know. I heard he was a teacher at Hogwarts two years ago? I must say, I'm glad you're finally setting your eyes on someone with a little stability."

"But... but... so you approve of Remus and I?" Nym squaked out. This was not as she expected! She was sure her mother would _hate_ the idea of her girl with an older man, and a werewolf to boot!

"Oh definitely," Andromeda answered her. "In fact, why don't you invite him over for dinner here soon? Ted and I would love to have a chat with him."

"Right you are Droma," Ted smiled at his wife.

Nym sat there fuming a bit, then soon after made excuses to leave. Just before she went to the back door to apparate away, her mother called her back for a final chat.

"Nymphadora, I am so happy you're thinking about settling down. For a moment I was afraid you'd do something stupid like trying to hook up with that Potter boy."

"Potter?" Nym's mouth dropped in surprise. "Harry Potter?"

"Yes, him," Andromeda nodded. "With you watching him at those awful Muggles he's staying at, your father and I were afraid you'd set your eyes on him. I can't tell you how much of a relief it is that you've decided to go for a mature, respectable older man instead."

"I... I see mum. So you'd definitely not like me to be with Ha– someone younger than I?" Nym carefully asked.

"Well a younger man... boy even is scandalous of course, but on top of that, someone as troublesome as the Boy-Who-Lived? Nymphadora Drusilla Tonks, you stay far away from him!" Andromeda glared at her daughter. "Now off you go. I expect to see you and your new beau for dinner some time in the coming month. Give Remus my greetings when you see him, ta!"  
>And with that, she more or less pushed her daughter out the back door.<p>

Nym stood outside a bit, fuming. _'If mum thinks she can tell me who to date, she's got another thing coming! Let's see... I've got guard duty at the Dursley home tomorrow from four p.m. until nightfall... and Dung has the shift after me. I bet he'd be happy to let me take over, that'll give me until late the next morning to work on Harry. He has filled out nicely, and I'm sure he'll appreciate an older woman helping him "cope" with the stress...'_

Nym focused, and increased her bust size just a bit, so her shirt strained nicely. _'I think I'll "forget" my bra tomorrow... oh yes Harry, you're gonna be mine!'  
><em>And a loud _crack_ signalled Nym apparated away to her own appartment.

"Think she fell for it Droma?" Ted embraced his wife from behind. They were standing near the back window, and had been watching their daughter pace about.

"I hope so Teddy, really Remus Lupin of all people? I don't understand what my daughter is thinking half the time. That... man... is a cowardly slacker, and would probably try to run out on her if she let herself get knocked up by him!  
>"No, Harry is a much better prospect, despite his young age from what I heard he is very mature. If anyone can ground our little wildcat, it will be him."<p>

"Poor boy won't know what's coming," Ted smirked.

* * *

><p>AN: If Ron/Hermione is the worst canon pairing, Remus/Nymphadora isn't far behind. I find it really hard to respect a man who walks out on his pregnant wife... or never bothers to check up on the only child of his best friend, for that matter.

A/N 2: I'm going to expand this into a small story, look for it soon on my profile, same title.


	7. Meeting the Parents

**Meeting the Parents**

Two years after the fall of Voldemort and the end of what was called the Blood War now, Harry and Hermione found themselves in Mackay, Australia, at a small house on Shakespeare street. After another epic row Ron had again abandoned Hermione, and she had broke the engagement off for good now. Harry sided with her on this, which cost him his relationship with Ginny.  
>Somehow neither Harry or Hermione were that broken up by it, and to get away from it all they decided to finally go look for Hermione's parents together.<p>

Hermione hesitated at the front door.  
>"Harry, are you sure about this? What if they don't remember me at all?"<p>

"Oh Hermione, you're a brilliant witch. I'm sure you can undo the spell correctly, and they'll forgive you for sure. If not, I'm here to support you."

"Thank you Harry," she kissed him on the cheek, then rang the doorbell.

"Yes, can I help you?" Wendell Wilkins opened the door, then took a step back in surprise. The young woman standing there looked remarkably like a younger version of his Monica.

Hermione was overcome by conflicting emotions, so Harry spoke first. "Mr Wilkins, can we come in? We've got some important information for you."

"You're from Britain? What brings you to us? And may I have your names?"

"Yes sir, and oh of course. This is Hermione Granger, and I'm Harry Potter. Please, can we come inside? Is your wife at home?"

"Come in," Wendell found himself saying. Something about the two seemed trustworthy. "Monica is upstairs with Laertes, I'll call her down."

"Laertes?" Hermione asked, having trouble finding her voice.

"Our little boy," Wendell smiled. "He had his first birthday last week." Hermione passed out, Harry catching her just in time.

"Is she quite all right?" Wendell asked a little worried. "Here, take her over to the sofa please..."

"She'll be fine sir, it's just a bit of a shock for her," Harry said encouragingly. He laid her down, then sat on the sofa as well and gently placed her head on his lap.  
>"Please, why don't you go get your wife? I'll take care of my– of Hermione."<p>

Wendell hesitated a moment, then went upstairs to get his better half.

–-

"I'm so sorry for making you worry like that," Hermione apologized. Her eyes were transfixed on the little brown-haired boy playing with blocks besides the sofa.

"That's okay dear," Monica nodded. "Your boyfriend took care of you."

"Oh he's not my boyfriend," Hermione blurted out. "Harry's just a friend." She didn't notice the shadow crossing over Harry's face, but Wendell and Monica did. They shared a look of understanding, 'poor boy'.

"Now that we're all awake," Wendell began, eliciting a blush from Hermione, "why don't you tell us why you came here?"

"First... please promise not to freak out?" Hermione said in a soft tone.

"Why would we? Are you two in trouble somehow?" Wendell asked them.

"No, not that... oh Merlin, might as well get it over with," Hermione sighed. She took her wand out, and as the Wilkins looked on with interest, waved it, speaking: "_Restituere Cogatitationes_". The Dog-Latin spell left her wand, and a ball of light entered the foreheads of both Wilkins.

Damocles Granger blinked twice. Emma Granger closed her eyes a bit longer as a lifetime's worth of memories restored itself. Hermione held on to Harry's arm for support, scared of what their reaction would be. Harry suppressed a wince as his best friend crushed his arm. Laertes happily built a tower.

"Oh... well... hello there Hermione," Damocles said in a neutral tone. "Young lady, you are grounded."

"Hermione Jane Granger, you are in so much trouble young lady," Emma said in a louder tone.

"Please sir, madam, she only meant to –" Harry tried, but Damocles interrupted him.

"Harry, I appreciate you supporting your friend, but this is a family issue. Could you take Lae to the kitchen and keep him occupied while my wife and I talk to the daughter that thought it okay to steal our identities and send us to the other side of the world?"

Hermione winced at the words and tone they were said in, but nodded. "Please Harry? It'll be okay, I'm sure..."

"All right Hermione," Harry gave her a quick kiss on the cheek for encouragement, and bent down to pick up Laertes. He didn't notice Hermione blushing as she softly cradled her cheek.

–-

A red-faced Hermione stepped into the kitchen half an hour or so later. "Harry? How's Laertes... my little brother doing?"

"He's getting a bit tired I think," Harry replied. The little boy was 'reading' a toddler's book. "How did things go?"

"Daddy and mummy understood why I did it I think... but they said I should be punished," Hermione looked at the floor. "Could you come with me please? I'll take Laertes."  
>She bent down and caught the toddler's attention. "Hi Lae, I'm your big sister," she smiled at him. Laertes babbled something, and let himself be picked up.<p>

The two-plus-one went back to the living room. Hermione handed Laertes over to her mother, then sat down on the sofa. Harry plopped down next to her.

"Well Harry, my daughter explained everything. I can't say I am happy about what she did, but I understand it," Damocles said. "Luckily Hermione understands that she was wrong not to ask us first, and has apologized."

"That's great sir," Harry beamed. "Did she mention we had spoken to the Australian Magical Ministry, and they would help you and your wife – and son I guess – return to England?"

"Call me Dan Harry," Hermione's father answered him. "And yes she mentioned it."

"What my husband neglected to say so far – and hi Harry, call me Emma please –," his wife cut in, "Is that while we will forgive Hermione, she does need to be punished. Isn't that right dear?"

Hermione had her head down still, and mumbled "yes mummy."

"Now since she claimed that at nineteen she is too old for me to do it, I'm hoping you can help us Harry," Dan offered.

"Err... I'm not sure what you mean sir– Dan," Harry hesitatingly said.

"Harry, we believe in the axiom 'Spare the rod, spoil the child,'" Emma explained. "Whenever Hermione did something really wrong growing up, we'd talk things through, then punish her."

Hermione said in a small voice: "Harry, please... it would be really weird if daddy were the one to punish me this time, so could you? Please?"

"You want me to spank you?" Harry squeaked out.

"More than you'd believe," Hermione mumbled, then louder: "Yess..." Her face red, she looked down again at her fidgeting hands. Harry meanwhile stared at her with open mouth.

"Well Harry, seems you have things well in hand," Damocles broke the uncomfortable silence. "I'd better call the clinic, tell them they'll need to find a new dentist... sounds like we're moving back to England soon."

"Remember dear, you said fifty was fair. Harry seems a little lost, so help him through it," Emma gave her daughter a weird look as she picked up Lae and followed her husband upstairs.

"I... I've never spanked before," Harry admitted. "The Dursleys... they just cuffed me on the ear, or threw me around. Dudley of course never got punished... do you really want me to do this?"

"I'd rather you do it than daddy," Hermione admitted. "Just... do what I say, okay?"  
>Still blushing heavily she took her wand, and conjured a leather paddle, handing it to Harry.<br>"Just... alternate cheeks okay? I'll tell you when you can begin."

Harry took the paddle wordlessly, flummoxed still. Hermione got up from the couch, and took Harry by the hand. She lead him to the kitchen.  
>"Sit down there okay?" she indicated an armless chair. Harry sat down, and Hermione laid down over his knees. His eyes caught her rear as it stuck up invitingly, covered by her tight blue jeans.<br>"Give... give me a few spanks on each cheek okay? Slow to start," Hermione's voice came from down and to the left.

Harry took the leather paddle firmly in hand, and gave her left cheek a soft slap with it.

"Oh come on Harry, harder. You want me to learn my lesson don't you?" Hermione complained.

Harry raised his arm again, and landed the paddle on her right cheek, a bit harder.

"Harry James, I am not made of glass," Hermione complained. "Can't you do this for me? Please, I can't bear the thought of having to ask daddy."

"If you're sure," Harry raised his hand again, and hesitated. Taking a breath to steady himself, he landed it on her right cheek, with an audible _SMACK_.

He heard a strong intake of breath. "That's better Harry... like that."

Again his arm went up, and this time 'left' got a good _SMACK_. He had to admit it felt nice how her body tensed when he spanked her, and this encouraged him to continue: _SMACK, SMACK, SMACK_.  
>"Is this okay Hermione?" Harry asked her. She was remarkably silent for the past four smacks.<p>

"I'm not... not really feeling it," Hermione admitted.

Harry looked her over, and saw the likely problem. "Stand up Hermione, and put your hands on your head."

"What are you going to do Harry?" Hermione wondered, as she complied.

"You want me to spank you properly, right?" Hermione nodded. "Then do as I say."  
>Harry started to unbutton her jeans, hearing a sharp intake of breath again. But Hermione let him unbutton it, then pull it down her legs.<br>"Right foot," Harry instructed, and she raised her foot, letting him strip the jeans of one leg. The other followed, and she was standing there with her back to him, wearing skimpy pink knickers.  
>"Back over my lap," Harry ordered.<p>

He admired her shapely bum as it wriggled on his leg, and wondered what might have been if he had seen her as a girl before the Yule Ball. Hermione evidently got tired of waiting after a bit, and she wriggled her arse a bit more.

"Oh, right," Harry rose from his thoughts. "Ready to begin again?"

"Yes Harry," Hermione said in a small voice. Harry raised his arm, and landed the paddle hard on her panty-clad cheek. Hermione tensed, then breathed out slowly. _SMACK_, went the paddle again. Feeling her wriggle on his lap, Harry began to get really uncomfortable as he felt himself grow hard. As he landed a series of smacks on her bum, Hermione's cheeks began to slowly turn into a red colour. Then Harry noticed his right leg was beginning to feel a little wet.  
>Harry paused the spanks, and placed his right hand over her bum. Hermione let out a moan as his hand connected with the tender flesh.<br>"You are enjoying this aren't you?" Harry wondered out loud. His hand daringly moved down, and his fingers came across the wet front of her underwear.  
>"You really <em>are<em> enjoying this..."

"Harry... spank me. We're not done yet," Hermione huskily answered him.

"Bad, bad girl..." Harry grinned, not that she could see, and placed both his hands on her bum. His fingers got the elastic on the side of her knickers, and in a quick move pulled them down. Hermione moaned loudly as the fabric slid over her spanked flesh.  
>"Time for the last ones I think," Harry took the paddle back in hand, and placed her back in position.<p>

"It really stings my bottom," Hermione mentioned.

"Good, that means it's working. Now stop wriggling, and take your punishment like a good girl," Harry ordered. SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, the paddle came down. Hermione responded by moans and wriggling. SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK... her bum was a beautiful glowing red now.  
>"Have you learned your lesson young lady?" Harry half growled at her. He put away the paddle, and rubbed her arse.<p>

"Ooooohh yesss... thank you..." Hermione half moaned, half spoke. She carefully stood up. Harry's eyes were transfixed to her naked lower half...

"Bad girl, you made my pants all wet," Harry said after a pause.

"Well know I'd better take care of that then don't I?" Hermione huskily answered him. She carefully got down on her knees, and opened his fly. "Oh my... that looks painful," she looked up at him with a question in her eyes. Harry nodded, and she opened his pants, then slid them down his legs.  
>"Merlin Harry, how could you keep that from me all these years?" Slowly she took his member in her hand, and looked at him again. Harry just nodded, and she licked the tip.<br>"Hmmm... tasty," she decided. Harry let out a moan as she took the head into her mouth.

Upstairs, Laertes had been put to bed, tired from the day playing. Damocles embraced Emma from behind as they heard a loud moan coming from below.

"Sounds like they moved to the kitchen table," Emma said with a giggle.

"Like mother like daughter, that's where we made little Laertes I think," Damocles said with a grin. "I can't believe that she wanted us to tell Harry we used to spank her."

"It's a harmless little kink," Emma grinned. "As I recall from just last week, you don't mind spanking little me either..."

"Hardly punishment though is it? Harry's crazy for her, that much is obvious, and it's not like our girl is complaining." A loud, "Oh yes Harry!" from below confirmed that.

"Are you kidding? She'll be sore for days, enough time to think," Emma had an evil look. "Now you'd best throw me on your bed mister, or I'm starting without you..."  
>Damocles needn't be told twice.<p>

–-

Six months later, a flight attendant took the passports of the family standing in front of her counter. Damocles and Emma Granger with young Laertes would be flying to the UK, together with Harry and Hermione Potter. It warmed her heart to see such a happy family: Mrs Potter was obviously the daughter of the Grangers, and her husband was so attentive of her. Judging by the protruding stomach of the younger woman, the Potters would soon be seeing a child of their own.


	8. Alfie's Bike (unfinished draft)

**Alfie's Bike** (unfinished draft)

* * *

><p>AN: This is what's left of my first attempt to write a story about Sirius and Alphard for Round One of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.

It wouldn't work for me and I ended up using what I had to write something else, "Remembering Alphard".  
>The start of this story is the only part I kept, it's now the flashback. I've updated it with the later revisions I made to the finished short story.<p>

* * *

><p>"You're a disgrace to our family!" Walburga screamed at her oldest son. Sirius had come back home for the Yule holiday, not really by choice. He would have preferred staying at Hogwarts, but James, Remus, and Peter would all be going home, and he didn't want to be in the castle all by himself with a bunch of slimy Slytherins around every corner... their nemesis Snivellus Snape always remained behind.<p>

"How dare you tell Regulus that his friends are would-be murderers! I'll have you know Gerald Crabbe and Evan Rosier are upstanding young gentlemen who have their heads screwed on straight! You are going to apologize to him now!" Walburga started to turn red with anger.

"Don't tell me what to do! I can see for myself they are nothing more than wannabe Death Eaters!" Sirius yelled back.

"And what is wrong with that?! At least Lord Voldemort is fighting for our cause!" Her voice shrieked in his ear.

"Our cause? Your cause you mean! I will never be a lousy murdering Death Eater!" Sirius looked as angry as his mother as he openly denounced the Dark Lord.

"Go to your room!" Walburga looked with disgust at him.

"Gladly!" Sirius yelled back, as he left the room, ran up the stairs, and put on a loud rock record to drown out the noise of his family. He could've done without the smug look on Reggie's face before the closed the door though.

A while later, someone knocked on the door. That in itself was unusual, his mother usually just stormed in, and Reggie refused to speak with him lately. Intrigued about who it could be, Sirius got up and opened his door.

"Uncle Alphard? What brings you here?" Sirius wondered out loud.

"Just passing by," his favourite uncle replied. Alphard, Alfie to friends, was Sirius' mother's younger brother. He was unmarried still, and was often away for months on a time. Sirius hadn't known he was back now.

"I was in the library with Orion when I heard the banshee yell," Alfie quipped.

Sirius let out a laugh at the unexpected remark. "Uncle! How could you say that!"

"Our secret eh lad?" Alfie said, shooting his nephew a grin. Sirius momentarily paused, acutely aware of how similar they looked... if he ever made it to fifty, he'd probably look a lot like his uncle did now. Their grins were identical.

"Anyway son, pack your clothes. You're coming home with me for a bit."

"Huh?" Sirius stared at Alphard, "I am coming with you?"

"Your cousin Bellatrix and her husband are coming over tonight, and I for one have no desire to be in one room with that scum of a Lestrange. So unless you want to play the good little pureblood, I thought I'd invite my favourite nephew over for a bit. You coming?"

"I'm packing!" Sirius yelled, and rushed to get his things.

* * *

><p><strong><em>I never wrote this part.<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Later, at Alphard's home:<em>

"Wow, is that a Triumph?" Sirius looked in awe at the motorcycle in Alphard's garage, just about the last thing he was expecting in a pureblood's home!

"Not just any Triumph, a TR5 Trophy," Alfie proudly said. "I rode her in an off-road race in French Algeria a few years back, got seventh place!"

He stepped around it, and indicated his nephew over. "498cc engine lad, she can do 90mph easily... and a little more thanks to a few charms on her."  
>Alfie rummaged in a cabinet nearby, and suddenly a helmet was flying Sirius' way. "Put it on lad, and we're taking her for a spin."<p>

Sirius needn't be told twice. Who would've thought his mother had a cool brother?

* * *

><p>End note: And that's where I quit. My idea for round 1 was to have Alphard teach Sirius to ride, to show where Sirius got his love for motorcycles from. But other than that I had no real ideas for it so I used some of the intro for 'Remembering Alphard' and turned it into that instead.<p>

I will probably never get back to this, it was in retrospect probably a dumb idea to try to write about teaching someone to ride a motorcycle when I have no experience with it myself.


	9. Mother's Day Breakfast

**Mother's Day Breakfast**

At the crack of dawn the boy stood up, opened the door to his "room", and went into the kitchen. Today was a special day, the teacher had told them, and he wanted to be ready. Sure his aunt liked to yell at him a lot, but at least she never hit him like his uncle or cousin did.

He opened the cook book, and found a recipe he thought he could do... his aunt had once mentioned she liked it, but never made it herself. At six he was still too short to reach so he put a chair against the kitchen counter, and looked through the cabinets. Fortunately, all the ingredients he needed were there.

The boy took out the flour and baking soda, cream of tartar, salt, and sugar. He then pre-heated the oven, and greased up a round baking dish.

Next he started to whisk the flour and other ingredients, until he had a nice dough. This took him almost half an hour, but the end result was worth it: he had a nice round dough which he now put in the dish, and carved an X in the top, just as it said in the recipe book.

Now the bread went into the oven, and he decided to cook up a normal breakfast as well for his family. He took a skillet and started to fry up some eggs and bacon, keeping an eye on the oven for his bread.

Another forty minutes later and everything was ready: the scent of a nice Irish soda bread permeated through the household, and the breakfast table was decked with the good china, all ready for consumption.

His uncle came down the stairs first. "I say Pet, how did you get down before me? That smells wonderful..." he called up the stairs... then he saw the cook.  
>"You..." he said with distaste. "What have you done, boy?" He glared at the young child.<p>

"What are you on about?" His aunt spoke as she too came downstairs. "Is that... soda bread I smell?"

She rounded the corner, and saw the boy. "Freak! What are you doing out of your cupboard?!" she shrieked.

"I... I made you an Irish Soda Bread auntie, and breakfast, for mother's day," he stammered.

"With _my_ ingredients?!" His aunt shrieked again. "How dare you!"

"Cupboard, boy..." his uncle grumbled, and took a threatening step towards the boy.

The child winced, "But auntie... I made it especially for you..." he said in a small voice, backing out of the kitchen.

"Inside, now!" his uncle bellowed. Suppressing tears, the boy locked himself in. His cousin stamped down the stairs a bit later, and the boy heard them enjoy the breakfast and bread, while he was locked inside.

Much later that day he was let out to clean the house, and his aunt informed him that he was _allowed_ to cook breakfast for them from now on, but that any spilled ingredients would be taken out of his hide with his uncle's belt.

The boy never even got to taste his own bread.

–-

Just over thirty years later, James Michael and his sister Elizabeth Lily stood up early, and made their way to the house's kitchen. James was nine-almost-ten, and Liz was an adorable seven year old. Their younger brother and sister, a pair of twins, were still sleeping, but they'd be allowed to help later.

James and Liz made a mess of the kitchen, but managed to prepare a nice breakfast nonetheless. Around 8 am their father came downstairs along with the "terror twins" Sirius Remus and Rose Molly. Sirius and Rose were allowed to help deck the table, while their father cleaned up a bit and served a good pot of tea.

"Well done kids, your mum will love it," he smiled at them. He was no longer the little boy who cowered in his cupboard, no he was a respected man now and happily married for over ten years.

Leaving James in charge of his siblings, he went upstairs to wake up his wife. Not surprising him one bit, she was already awake when he re-entered the master bedroom.  
>"Morning love, and happy mother's day. The kids made you breakfast, want to come down?"<p>

"How much of a disaster is it?" she asked with a laugh on her voice.

"They're growing up too fast," he said with a sigh. "I only had to clean a little... James and Liz did a wonderful job. You gave me beautiful children, love."

"And you made me the happiest mother in the world," his wife beamed back at him and kissed him.

"Mummy! Breakfast!" a yell came from downstairs, and it was good timing too, or the kids' parents would really have been late...

* * *

><p>AN Dedicated to all the mothers out there.


	10. Shiny Lips

**A/N: Warning: adult themes between siblings. Don't read if offended by this.**

* * *

><p><strong>Shiny Lips<strong>

Percy watched closely as Ginny took a green tube out of her purse and turned on one end, resulting in it opening. His little sister was sticking her lips out in a funny way as she ran the tube over her lips, then went over it again. She smacked her lips softly, then noticed her older brother.

"Oh hi Percy, you've gotta try this, it tastes so good! This is watermelon," she said as she held it out to him.

"What is that Gin-Gin? Something muggle?" Percy didn't take it from her.

"It's lip gloss Perce, I bought it in the muggle village last time mum took me shopping." Ginny rolled her eyes. At only eleven and not even in Hogwarts yet she was quite the insufferable brat at times, Percy thought.

"Lip gloss?" Percy frowned. "I heard Pe –" he caught his slip just in time, none of his family knew about Penelope yet – "I heard someone talk about this. Isn't this something only girls use?"

"Yes, but it tastes good," Ginny said. "Come on, just a little?" She reached it out to him again.

"There's no way I'm using that," Percy scoffed. "You might as well give up."

"Then I'll make you taste it," Ginny had a mischievous look as she suddenly leant in close, and kissed him. He couldn't prevent his tongue from running over her lips, making him taste it.

Ginny was smiling as she pulled her head back, "Cool, huh?"

"I'm not sure... I might need to try it again," Percy replied.

"You're silly," Ginny laughed. She took out another tube from her purse, "Strawberry. Want to try?" Not waiting for an answer, she licked her lips clean, and applied the new flavour.

This time Percy was the one to kiss her, after she was done. After he licked her lips clean, he allowed his tongue to enter her mouth briefly.

Ginny pulled her head back. "Silly Percy, the lip gloss is only on my lips, not inside!"

"It still tastes good," Percy said.

Ginny giggled. "Silly brother." She reached in her purse and pulled out another one. "Want to try green apple?"

–-

Percy worked on his summer homework the next few days, and hardly saw his sister except for at meal times. He already knew he did great on his O.W.L.s, but that was no excuse to slack off if he wanted a chance at Head Boy in his last next year.

A few days later he sat in his room just thinking when his sister came in, sniffling.

"What's wrong Gin-Gin?" he asked her.

"Fred and George said I would be sorted into Hufflepuff," Ginny cried. "And Ron said that even if I did manage to make it into Gryffindor, there would be no way Harry Potter would even talk to me!"

"Ignore them Gin-Gin," Percy soothed her. He held his arms out and she scooted on his lap, sniffling a bit more as she sat there. Finally it seemed to be over, and she scooted back on her feet.

"Erm... did you like the green apple the other day?" she asked shyly.

Percy smiled. "Yes... but I liked the strawberry more."

"You can have my cherry," Ginny said, a small giggle crept out as well. She reached in a pocket of her pants and took out a red tube, then pursed her lips to apply it. This time when she let him taste her lips, she also allowed his tongue to slip inside a bit without pulling back.

"Wow," Percy said after a while. "That was good."

Ginny giggled, "you loved that one!" She seemed to have an endless supply of them, as she took out another one, announcing it to be "Lime!"

She applied it, they kissed some more, as he pulled her back on his lap.

"I didn't know kissing could be this nice," Ginny admitted.

"Who have you kissed before?" Percy asked her. He knew it was wrong, but having his sister sit on his lap meant a certain part of him was beginning to wake up.

"Erm, it's a secret," Ginny said. "I'll tell if you tell."

"Keep it a secret from the others okay?" Percy waited until she nodded, then continued: "I've kissed Penelope Clearwater, she's a fellow prefect. We were talking on the train back and suddenly she kissed me... I want to take her to Hogsmeade next school year. I've been writing her this summer."

"Is she pretty?" Ginny asked.

"Very much so," Percy had a slight blush.

"Prettier than me?"

"Pretty... in a different way. You're my prettiest sister."

"I'm your only sister!"

"It's still true," Percy said with a small laugh. "So, who have you kissed?"

"Luna," Ginny blurted out. "We used to play Mr and Mrs Harry Potter and then we practised kissing on each other." She looked up at her big brother critically, "Luna never licked the inside of my mouth, though."

"That's something only grown ups do when they kiss," Percy said. Holding Ginny close on his lap was beginning to get a little uncomfortable.

"What else do grown ups do when they kiss?" Ginny asked him, her big eyes staring at him and her soft lips, still shining a little, looking so inviting...

Percy bent his head down for another kiss, and Ginny eagerly responded.

After a while their mother called up that it was Ginny's bed time, and she left his room. Percy tried to keep how he imagined Penelope to look like naked in mind as he took care of his hard-on, but his fantasy betrayed him by making Penelope a red-head at times.

–-

"You never told me what else grown ups do," Ginny accused her big brother. They were once again in his room alone, she sitting on his lap.

"I'm not sure I should tell you," Percy said.

"Please? Pretty please? I promise I won't tell anyone," Ginny begged.

Percy breathed in sharply. "You promise not to tell a single soul? Not even mum and dad?"

"Promise," Ginny said with the certainty only young children have.

"Sometimes, when a girl really likes a boy, she gives him a blow job," Percy said softly.

Ginny's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

"How do you know what that is?" Percy asked her.

"Oh please Perce, I'm not stupid," Ginny said. "I talk to the other village girls you know? But they all said it was some huge thing."

"I guess it can be, it's definitely not something for little girls to even think about," Percy agreed. "Maybe we should talk about something else."

"Maybe we should," Ginny said. "I have a new flavour, peach. Want to try?"

Percy liked the taste of peach.

–-

"Do you think Harry will want to kiss me?" Ginny asked as she stepped into Percy's room.

"Not now Gin, I'm revising," Percy said without looking up.

"You're always working. I miss my fun big brother," Ginny complained. "Don't you love me any more?"

Percy let out a sigh as he put away his quill. "I'll always love you Gin-Gin. What did you want to know?"

"Do you think Harry will like me if I let him kiss me? Or would I need to do more?" Ginny asked, uncertainly.

Percy beckoned her inside, and she closed the door behind her, then sat down on her brother's desk. Percy looked her over. She was young, true, but he thought she was beautiful. She had long red hair, the cutest freckles, a cute button nose... and shining, inviting lips...

"Hello Percy? Are you under the Imperius or something? You've been staring at me for the past few minutes," Ginny's voice broke him from his concentration.

"Err... sorry, what was the question?" Percy blushed.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "You're useless. I asked, would Harry like me if I kissed him, or would I need to give... give him a blow job?" She rapidly grew a blush, making her face match the colour of her hair.

Percy groaned as his mind betrayed him by showing him Ginny on her knees, licking and sucking on someone's organ. He didn't need to look down to know he had sprouted a tent in his own pants in a millisecond.

"I... I don't know Gin," he croaked out. "You can't just go up to him and do _that_, you know?"

"True... I'd need to practice first, if I'm to be his girlfriend and then his wife," Ginny stared of. "Oh! I know! You can help me!"

"Help you?" Percy's eyes grew wide. "Ginny, I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

"Who else can I ask for help?" Ginny stood back up and walked closer. "Ron smells bad, I think he's skipping his baths. The twins would just make fun of me if I asked. Daddy wouldn't understand. And Charlie and Bill are far away. You don't want me to ask some stranger now do you? I thought you loved me?" She sniffled a little.

"I do love you!" Percy got to his feet, and rushed to hug her. "It's just... it's supposed to taste weird, and all."

"I don't mind if it's you," Ginny stared up at him with her big eyes... and her wet, hypnotizing lips... "Can I see it? Just a little?"

Wordlessly Percy fumbled with his pants, and let them drop. He was tenting his boxer shorts. Then, he dropped them to the floor as well.

Ginny let out a breath she had been holding. "Wow... it's beautiful. And big... may I touch it?"

"Be... be gentle," Percy breathed out. '_I can't believe this is happening... it's a dream. No, a nightmare, no a dream..._' He could only look, frozen to the spot as if someone had hit him with a spell, as her tiny hand gently grabbed his cock. She couldn't reach all the way around, and had to use both her hands to encircle it.

Then, before he was ready for it, she licked the top.

"Yuck," she said, pulling back and letting it drop back down.

"If you don't want to do it," Percy began saying, feeling a strange mixture of relief and disappointment.

"No, that's good, just a sec," Ginny said. She pulled out a tube from her pocket, and applied it to her lips. "I love strawberry," she declared, smacking her lips.

Percy looked hypnotized as her lips glimmered and missed her question completely. "Sorry, what?" he asked.

"I said, I don't know what to do... can you help me?" Ginny repeated, letting out a little huff.

"Erm, okay," Percy just said. "Open wide."

Ginny opened her mouth. Percy put one hand on his cock, and placed the other behind her head to steady them. He pulled her closer, until she was close enough to place her shining lips on his member, her beautiful lips closing on the ridge that surrounded his cock head.

"Oh Ginny," Percy whispered.

Ginny looked up at him, love and adoration in her eyes.

Percy placed his other hand on the back of her head as well, and pulled his hips back. His head left her mouth, and he kept pulling back until she only had the tip still resting on her lower lips, then he pushed back in.

"Oh, Ginny," he repeated.

He continued this movement a while, never pushing in much further. Ginny kept looking at him throughout, her large, beautiful eyes trained on him and her shining lips leaving a small trail on his member as he used her face. Her cheeks seemed to begin to redden as he kept up the rhythm.

"Oh Merlin, Ginny," Percy whispered as a little pre-cum leaked out.

Ginny pulled away from him, "did you just... cum?" she asked.

"No... not yet... that's just a little bit that comes before," Percy explained. A tiny part of him was yelling this was wrong and he should stop it now, but he wouldn't listen to it. "There's a lot more when I really shoot."

"Oh. It tastes weird," Ginny said. Then, to his surprise, she dropped her jaw, opening her mouth wide again.

Percy pushed back inside. "N... now you need to use your hands," he said, unsteadily.

Ginny looked up questioningly, her mouth closed around him.

"Use one hand on my dick, and use the other to softly play with my balls," Percy instructed her.

Ginny did as he asked. "Oh Ginny love," Percy whispered as she cupped his balls, and used her other hand to guide him back in her. It was obvious she had no idea what she was doing but she was a fast learner, responding to his little grunts to find out how he liked it.

"Oh my love," he whispered. More pre-cum leaked out. Ginny looked up funny, but this time she didn't pull back, instead she began to slowly squeeze on his balls.

"Oh Merlin!" Percy said louder, as he felt his balls twitch. "Oh fuck!" He felt his load rush out, his entire body shaking. "Fuck, fuck!" he yelled, as another shot fired into her mouth. Ginny's eyes had widened in surprise, but she kept massaging and caressing him, not letting a single drop escape past her lips.

Finally he was done. Ginny released her hands, and raised them to form a kind of bowl, then spit his load into her hands. Then she looked up, "that tasted weird," she said.

"Oh Ginny, that was fucking awesome," Percy panted.

Ginny giggled. "You said some nasty words, big brother." She licked her lips, "I prefer the taste of strawberry," she stated. "Do you have a tissue or something?"

"Here, let me," Percy took his wand from his desk, and cast '_Evanesco_' to clear his cum from her hands.

"You're not supposed to use magic!" Ginny's eyes grew wide. Then she looked at her hands. "Still sticky. I'm going to wash up. Bye for now!"

He watched her move out of his room, as he fell back in his desk chair. Absentmindedly he pulled his boxers and pants back on. He was sick... getting his first blow job from his sister should not be allowed to feel as good as it did... yet it was the best orgasm of his life so far.

–-

"Banana," Ginny said, pouting her lips and applying the gloss.

He kissed her. "I don't like it."

"Oh?" Ginny pulled another one from her purse, "Strawberry?"

"Love it," Percy stated. They kissed deeply, her on his lap.

–-

He never got a repeat performance that summer, and during the school year Ginny seemed to have changed. She grew distant from everyone and never even used lip gloss any more.

Percy and Penny started dating in secret, and by the end of the year she was fond enough of him to give him a blow job. He asked her to put on lip gloss before their first time, but she just looked at him as if he was crazy. As she hummed around him, Percy couldn't help but feel somewhat disappointed that his girlfriend seemed less skilled than his little sister had been, somehow. Still, his body reacted just fine, and Penny seemed pleased.

At the end of the year the whole Chamber of Secrets thing came out and Percy blamed himself for not noticing Ginny had been in distress. He didn't dare bring up either her possession or their 'pre-school fun' to her, not then, and not later during Egypt. Ginny never used lip gloss again, that he noticed.

Percy and Penny eventually broke up, and he got into a huge fight with his family, and wouldn't see them again until the War was almost over. Ginny had grown and was no longer the little girl he remembered... but he had met a beautiful Muggleborn witch named Audrey, and was now dating her.

And Audrey loved how strawberry lip gloss made her lips shine.

* * *

><p>AN 2: The lip gloss inspired by a hot fic I read elsewhere, the story itself is my own.


	11. Anniversary

**Anniversary**

Hermione carefully balanced two large grocery bags against the door as she fumbled for the key in her purse. Before she found it though, one of the bags started sliding.

"Oh no! Wait, don't fall..." she tried to keep it balance, but too late, the bag fell down... and just before it would've hit the ground, it hovered in place. Sheepishly she looked up, and saw Kreacher standing there, his hands extended as he waved the bags over to him.

"Mistress should let Kreacher do the shopping," the aged Elf grumbled.

"It's no problem Kreacher, it was on my way back from work," Hermione said in a cheerful tone. "Thanks for catching it. Do you need any help carrying it down to the kitchen?"

Kreacher looked horrified at the notion. "No, Kreacher can do it. Mistress, please let Kreacher work."

"Mmm. Okay then," Hermione said. Kreacher looked uncomfortable under the attention, and turned his back on her. The bags floated after him. With a small smile on her face Hermione went back to her car, her little red Ford Fiesta that she'd gotten as a graduation gift, and took out her work bag. She slung it over her shoulder and went back into her home.

Number Twelve Grimmauld Place was no longer the dark and decrepit place from the War days. The painting of Mrs Black no longer dominated the entrance hallway, surprisingly enough Narcissa Black (formerly Malfoy) had gladly accepted the painting of her aunt. Everyone was happier with the new arrangement: Narcissa had family close by, Walburga no longer needed to suffer "Half Bloods and Blood Traitors", and Kreacher had free permission to visit the painting as much as he wanted.

Instead of the odious woman, a painting of some of the fallen now decorated the room. It wasn't a magical painting of course, but Remus, Tonks, Fred, and all the other friends that were lost in the war stood there proudly before the castle walls, just as they liked to remember them. Hermione smiled as she walked past and stepped into the former formal dining room.

"You are late today, welcome home dear!" her co-wife greeted her wearing a wide smile, and nothing else. Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Luna was still very much a free spirit: becoming the Lady Black hadn't grounded her as some had hoped, instead it meant she now had the resources to fully pursue her strange hobbies. Which, at the current time, apparently included frolicking about naked with fairies.

"Hi Luna, yeah I know, had to deal with bloody solicitors all day... how has your day been?" Hermione asked. She placed her bag on a chair near the door, and took off her coat and outdoor shoes. Even as she placed them on or near the same chair, Kreacher took them from her and popped out into the hallway to place them in the wardrobe, without offering any comment. Just as Hermione had finally learned she could not get Kreacher to change his ways, he in turn had learned that Hermione considered coat hangers to be optional, and preferred using chair backs.

"Oh just wonderful, Buttercup Reedsinger here was telling me all about her people," Luna indicated a pink blur that flew around her head. "Do you think we can go to the Forbidden Forest next New Moon to see their dance?" Luna sounded hopeful.

"We'll see, I supposed it's possible," Hermione said with a smile. "Is Harry home yet?"

"He's downstairs," Luna commented. Hermione made to leave, but she called her back with a "No, wait!"

Hermione stopped at the door, "Wait, why?"

"Erm, it's a secret... no wait, I wasn't supposed to say that... err... 'No Hermione, I don't know where Harry is'?" Luna said in a manufactured voice.

Hermione grew a smile, "Never change Luna dear, never change," she said fondly.

"Why would I change? I like being Bluna Black," the blonde said.

"Your name is Luna, not Bluna," Hermione rolled her eyes, for show only.

"No, that can't be right, there's no alliteration in it. Luna Lack? No, that doesn't sound right either... Lovely Luna, Beautiful Black?" Luna pondered out loud.

"I'll leave you and Buttercup to it, if you should 'somehow' see Harry, tell him I'm upstairs, okay?" Hermione turned, picked her work bag back up, and went upstairs to where she had her home office.

The next hour was spent working on a case for the DMLE. As one of the top people in the department, Hermione often took her work home. Her current case had a personal side to it... Draco Malfoy had been arrested while in the possession of dark artefacts. Her former classmate already had a probationary twenty year sentence hanging over his head for his involvement in the war, and with this new charge Azkaban seemed a certainty, unless his defence attorney could find some trick to get him out. Hermione scoffed, the horrible man had been trying to get her to call the case of all day, but there was no way she was letting that happen. The evidence was solid, all procedures had been followed, so if it was up to her – and it was – Draco would be reunited with his father behind bars soon.

She was so focused on her work, that she never heard someone come up behind her. Suddenly her vision was blocked by two large hands.

"Guess who?" Harry asked.

"Mmmm, it can't be my husband, he knows better than to disturb me while I am working," Hermione said in a jovial tone. "Oh I know, is it you Manuel? You know you can't be visiting me while my husband is at home!"

The hands dropped away, and her swivel chair was turned so she suddenly faced Harry. "Manuel eh? Have you been naughty, my dearest Mrs Potter?" he sounded amused.

"Perhaps," Hermione bit her lip as she looked back at him. Her smile was threatening to split her ear to ear, she felt.

"You know what happens when you bite your lip like that," Harry nearly growled as he lowered his head to hers for a kiss.

"No fair, starting without me," Luna sulked near the door. She had thrown on a simple robe, but was till barefoot. Reluctantly, Hermione broke the kiss.

Harry let out a laugh, "Supper is ready, my ladies. Will you do me the honour of joining me downstairs?"

"If you insist," Hermione said with a huff. But her eyes were shining brightly, revealing her protest was just for show.

They went down to the kitchen. The table had been decked with the fine china, and was lit by candles.

"Harry, this looks wonderful!" Hermione exclaimed as she entered.

"Thank you dear," Harry smiled and held out a seat for her. Gracefully, she sat down, and waited until Harry sat Luna, before sitting down between them.  
>Kreacher arrived with the first course.<p>

"Stuffed artichokes? My favourite!" Hermione said. "Did you prepare this? What's the occasion?"

"Harry's been working on it all day, I was not allowed near the kitchen," Luna said as she smiled at her partners. "And really Hermione, you of all people don't know?"

Hermione scrunched her face as she thought hard. It wasn't anywhere near any of their birthdays, it was not a holiday she knew of, which left...

Harry smiled as he saw her eyes grow wide, and leant in for a kiss. "Happy anniversary dear," he said as he released her, before he took Luna's lips.

"Has it really been one year already?" Hermione looked at them with love in her eyes. "I am so sorry I forgot honey... you know with work, it's been so hectic and –"

"Hush dear," Harry said. "Punishment later, first we'll enjoy our dinner."

"I get to use the paddle first," Luna called dibs. Hermione felt a delightful shudder as she thought of the fun to come. Luna was a _wicked_ witch in the bedroom.

* * *

><p>Today it's one year ago that I posted my first story on this site, '<em>The Sorting of 1991<em>'. I've been updating more or less weekly since then, and I really appreciate the number of follows, favorites, and reviews I've gotten across my stories since then.

Thanks to all my readers. Here's a little Lunar Harmony drabble to celebrate :)


	12. Cats Will Play

**Cats Will Play**

"What's the matter, Mudblood? Cat got your tongue eh? Not so brave without Potter?" Draco sneered at Hermione. She was backed into a corner of the hallway leading away from the library, and he had Crabbe with him.

"I don't need Harry to protect me, I'm not afraid of you!" Hermione tried to stand firm against them. Getting cornered like this was a rookie mistake, she had simply lost track of time. And despite her brave words, she wished Harry was here, but he had been stricken by Dragon Pox like many others of their year and was currently quarantined in St. Mungo's.

"Oh, you're not?" Draco got an evil smile, and took out his wand: "_Diffindo!_".

Hermione ducked under the cutting spell, and quickly trained her own wand on her opponent: "_Expelliarmus_!"  
>The disarming spell hit Draco, causing his wand to fly away. Not wasting the chance, Hermione cast again: "<em>Incarcerous!<em>"  
>Thick ropes wrapped around Draco, and he fell against Crabbe, knocking the trollish boy's wand out of his hand.<p>

"Bastards," Hermione spat at the two, and cast two final spells: "_Stupefy, Stupefy_".  
>"Now, what do I do with you? If I let you go, you're running off to Umbridge and will claim I attacked you..." she mused out loud. "Cat got my tongue, eh?" Hermione got an evil glare, and actually cackled.<p>

–-

Draco woke up, and found the ropes were gone. "Stupid Mudblood will pay," he grumbled. He saw Crabbe lying on the floor next to him, and kicked the larger boy. "Wake up, dunderhead."  
>Crabbe grunted as he woke. Meanwhile Draco got to his feet, and padded his pockets.<br>"My wand? The Mudblood took my wand?" he said, slight panic in his voice.

"Boss, where are we?" Crabbe asked. Draco stopped feeling his pockets, and looked around. There was an impossibly large wooden pole next to them... his eyes followed it up, and saw it ended in an immense wooden plane, far above him.

"I... I have no idea," he admitted. Far to his right was what seemed to be a kind of mountain, only it was purple somehow. "Let's go over there," he suggested.

As they walked there, suddenly the ground started trembling. "Earthquake! Protect me!" Draco squealed, hugging Crabbe for support. The trembles became heavier, and suddenly an immense being, far larger than any giant seemed to be in the room with them... Draco looked up, terrified, as the giant knelt... and he recognised the bushy hair.  
>"Granger? How did you turn yourself into a giant?" he asked in disbelief.<p>

The giant smiled, then spoke: "I can't hear you, Draco. You're squeaking." Her voice was booming over them, and Draco's ears hurt. "You know, I've had more than enough of you," Hermione continued talking. Draco and Crabbe both covered their ears, but her voice still sounded strong and actually hurt.  
>"You've been a pest since my first year, and I'd hoped you would learn from the punch I gave you back in our third. But it seems the inbreeding has removed all intelligence from the Malfoy line. So, I've had it with you. I suggest you find a good place to hide within the next ten minutes, because I have something fun in mind."<p>

Draco glared up at the giant, not realising how ineffective it was. "When my father hears about this!" he threatened her.

Hermione didn't hear him, and wasn't interested anyway. She got back on her feet and walked away out of sight, the floor trembling as she went.

"What do you think she meant?" Crabbe asked.

"Don't know and don't care," Draco scoffed. "I'm getting Professor Snape or Umbridge, and the Mudblood will pay."

"I dunno boss, she seemed serious," Crabbe seemed doubtful.

"Maybe you're right," Draco mused. "Okay, I got it. I'll go hide behind this... thing," he indicated the 'mountain' they were near, "and you go find a teacher."

"But, didn't she say we should hide?" Crabbe sounded a bit afraid.

"Don't tell me you're afraid of that Mudblood! Giant or not, what can she do to us? We're Pureblood Men, and she is just a Muggleborn bint! Now off you go!" Draco ordered. Crabbe hesitated one moment longer, then walked off in the direction he thought she left, guessing that that would lead back to the school.  
>Draco meanwhile started running for the 'mountain'. As he got near, he realised to his shock that it was an immense sofa. 'Why would Granger enlarge furniture as well?' he wondered, before the shocking realisation came that <em>she<em> hadn't grown... _he_ had shrunk.  
>"Granger, I'll have you expelled for this!" he yelled. If anyone had been in the room just then, they might have heard a squeak.<p>

The floor started trembling again, and Draco saw her large legs come into view. "Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of Death Eater scum," her voice boomed. Draco saw Crabbe stand in the middle of a vast open field – the floor – and straight in her line of sight. Crabbe proved he had _some_ brains, and started running away... but in one step she had closed the distance, and the next moment her hand closed around Crabbe, hiding him completely from view.

"Please, no! I'm sorry! Let me go, please!" Crabbe pleaded, as she lifted him up further. Draco looked on shivering in terror, what did the mad witch have planned?

"Crooksie? Dinner," Hermione said simply, and threw Crabbe up in the air. A large orange blur leapt into view, and Draco heard something snap shut. Next, Granger's cat Crookshanks was standing on the floor next to her legs, and the cat purred as he brushed up against his owner.  
>"There's a good kitty," Hermione petted him. "Such a smart boy, too. Does Crooksie want another snack?"<p>

Draco paled in terror as the cat stopped purring, and turned its head to focus on him. Somehow, it had spotted him straight away.  
>"Keep that monster away from me! I'll stop bothering you and Potter!" Draco yelled, backing away further under the sofa. The cat stalked closer.<br>"I'll pay you! I'll quit school and go to Durmstrang! Anything!"  
>The cat crouched on its four legs, and stared down Draco. He pissed himself in fear, as the cat licked its lips... did he see blood on its teeth, or was he just imaging things?<br>"Granger! Listen to me! Anything!" he pleased.

Crookshanks suddenly swiped with his front right paw, and his nails caught Draco's robe. Unable to do anything, he was pulled out from under the sofa, and found himself straight in front of its face.  
>He trembled in fear as the cat opened his – to him – giant mouth... its face lowered over him...<p>

It grew dark as the cat closed its mouth, and Draco wondered for a moment if he was dead already. But no, the cat seemed to want him without chewing... Draco realised he was sitting on the cat's tongue, and was being forced backwards. Desperately he tried to claw his way upwards, but it was to no avail... the cat swallowed, and Draco felt himself slide down, into its throat. He passed out from fear.

–-

"Welcome back, Harry," Hermione greeted her best friend. Harry had been declared fully cured, and could finally return to school.

"Thanks 'Mione," Harry gave her a smile. "I can hardly believe it, but I missed school, even Snape!"

"You didn't miss me? I feel heart-broken," Hermione pouted.

"Of course I missed you, you more than anything!" Harry was quick to say. "So, what's been happening at school? Draco still being a pest?"

"Funny you should ask," Hermione smirked.

Up in the Hospital wing, Poppy Pomfrey frowned. Crabbe and Draco were still catatonic... whoever had gotten to them, had trapped them in a very detailed nightmare, and their minds seemed locked. Thank Morgana for Hermione Granger, she thought. The Muggleborn witch had suggested letting her cat keep them company, as pets were apparently considered to have a positive effect on patients like the two Slytherins in the Muggle world.


	13. There For Him

**There For Him**

"Hermione! Stop snogging that brother of mine and answer the floo!" Ginny's shrill voice sounded through the Burrow. Annoyed that her probable future sister-in-law had inherited Molly's admirable set of lungs, Hermione put down her book and stomped over to the fireplace.

"Ginevra Molly Weasley, for your information, I was reading a book! Ron is at the Ministry for Auror training, as you should well now," she chided the red-head once she came into view. "Now, what are you hollering for?" Hermione glared at her.

"I don't care if you were snogging Ron or a book, just step through will you? I am sick and tired of this bullcrap!" Ginny shouted once more, and her head disappeared. Hermione rolled her eyes, then stepped into the fireplace, threw down some floo powder, and clearly said, "Headquarters".

They had never gotten around to renaming the floo access for Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, which Harry had made his home almost immediately after the Battle.

Hermione stepped out into the Black house's kitchen, and saw Ginny drinking straight from a firewhiskey bottle. The red-head put the bottle down and focused on the new arrival.

"I am going to the Harpies' stadium for some extra practice. _He_ is upstairs, in Sirius' room," she said, and tried to get past Hermione.

Hermione took Ginny by the arm to stop her. "Wait a minute, what do you mean, _he_ is upstairs? Is something wrong with Harry?" she asked, concern getting in her voice.

Ginny scoffed. "When is something _not_ wrong with Harry these days?" She pulled out a chair, and sat down. Hermione did the same, and looked at the younger woman expectantly.  
>"Did Ron tell you Harry dropped out of Auror training?" Ginny asked.<p>

Hermione frowned a moment. "Ron said Harry quit, not that he dropped out. I was meaning to ask what his reasons were," she said.

Ginny let out a bitter laugh, "Typical Ron, can't speak bad of his 'best friend'! No, Harry _dear_," the last word was spat out as if it was distasteful for her, "the so-called Man-Who-Won dropped out of training. He came home last month as white as a sheet, and said he didn't want to go any more. You know Kingsley is fond of Harry, but when Harry didn't go back even once we got an owl this week, that Harry was no longer in the programme. I tried talking with him about it, but he is being unreasonable. I can't deal with this, if I wanted to date a loser, I'd go back to Dean. At least he knows how to treat me right!"

Hermione sat there with open mouth from shock. "Harry's not been to the Ministry in weeks? Why is this the first I hear of it?" she demanded.

"It's not my responsibility to keep you informed, Herms," Ginny said. She stood up, and looked at the still seated brunette. "I am going to the Harpies camp. You can tell Harry that if he gets his arse moving and begs Kingsley for his spot back, I _might_ come back." Ginny walked to the floo, and was gone before Hermione had mentally processed everything.

"Harry, what's wrong?" she softly said, then got up as well, and went for the stairwell. She made it all the way up to the third floor of the empty house before she saw someone, Kreacher. He was standing in front of the stairwell with his arms spread, blocking her way. "Master wishes to be alone," he told her.

"Please Kreacher, I need to speak with him. Has he eaten at all?" Hermione asked.

"Kreacher has made dinner for the blood traitor and Master Potter-Black every night, but Master has only eaten some bread when Kreacher brought it up late at night," Kreacher said sadly. "Kreacher does not know what is wrong with Master."

"Kreacher, if you'll let me pass, I can help him," Hermione promised.

The old House Elf looked at her critically, then nodded. "Kreacher will let the Master's friend pass. The Master needs help, and the blood traitor only made things worse by yelling at him."

"Thank you, Kreacher," Hermione said. An even more worried expression on her face, she went further upstairs. The door to Sirius' room was closed, but there was light behind it. Softly, she knocked on the door.

There was no reply, so she knocked again. "Harry? It's me, Hermione. Can I come in?" she asked. She heard a sharp intake of breath from inside but got no further reply, so she opened the door.

Harry sat on Sirius' bed, his arms wrapped around his legs, and his head resting on his knees. Hermione slowly walked to him. "Oh Harry. What's wrong?" she asked, gently.

"I don't know," Harry said, sounding a little distant.

"How can I help?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know," Harry said again.

Her heart was breaking from seeing him that way, but she knew she wouldn't get a better answer just yet, so she left his room and closed the door behind her. Kreacher was standing outside.

"Kreacher, is the third floor bedroom clean?" she asked the servant. Kreacher nodded. "Good. Please, get as many pillows as you can for me, and put them on the bed, okay?" Hermione asked. Kreacher nodded again, and popped out.

Hermione went down one floor, and into the bedroom the Weasley parents had shared while they had lived in Sirius' house. Kreacher had already done as asked, and there was a variety of pillows waiting for her.

Hermione took them and made a kind of hut out of them on top of the bed. She stepped back, appreciating how they now looked, and went back upstairs and into Sirius' room.

"Harry? I've made a hiding spot. Do you want to come with me?" she asked him gently.

Harry's breath hitched a moment, then he looked up at her. "Ok," he said. Hermione wanted to put an arm around him but feared he would react wrong now, so she just went ahead of him back to the third floor bedroom, Harry following close behind her.

Harry needed no instruction: as soon as he saw the pillow pile, he crawled in, so only a part of his face was still visible. His expression softened a bit.

"Does that help?" Hermione asked him, a slight smile on her face.

"A little," Harry said.

"Do you need anything else?" she asked.

Harry visibly hesitated, then, in a small voice, said "No."

Hermione smiled at him. "Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"I'll be right back. You can stay there," she told him, and left the room.

Kreacher stood outside again, waiting. "Will Master be all right?" he asked her.

"He will be, but it will take a little time. Can you prepare some sandwiches for him and take them to me? Harry just needs a little space now," Hermione told him.

Kreacher popped out again, and returned a minute later with a plate with a variety of bread on it.

Hermione went back inside with the food, and put it in front of the opening to Harry's 'cave'. "Here you are," she said. "Is that good?"

"... yes," Harry said. Carefully he reached out and took one sandwich, then ducked back under cover. She just watched as he ate them all, then put the plate on the floor and out of sight.

"Are you ever coming out?" she asked him, as neutrally as possible.

"...no," Harry said.

"Okay. Then I'll join you," she said. She lifted up one side of the pillow fort, and lied down next to Harry. He stiffened for a second, but then she wrapped her arms around him and just hugged him.

After a while Harry began to softly sob, and she didn't say a word but just kept holding him until he finally fell asleep.

* * *

><p>AN: PTSD is not something you just get over. I know this all too well.  
>Someone linked me to Robot Hugs' 'Nest' "comic" which inspired this.<p> 


	14. A Fairy Tale

**A Fairy Tale**

The little girl was already in bed with the covers drawn, and it was getting late. But then she asked, "Daddy, will you tell me a story?"

Her daddy sat down on the bed beside her, and told her:

"Once there was a little boy, who grew up in a world of people that were different from him. For you see, he lived in the Muggle world, in a house with people who didn't believe magic was real, but he was not a Muggle or even a Muggleborn: he was a wizard whose parents had been a great wizard and witch.

The little boy did not have a happy life, for when he got upset, which he got a lot whenever his mean cousin tried to hurt him, he used accidental magic. And every time he did, he got punished. He didn't have a bedroom: his room was the cupboard under the stairs. And he didn't have nice clothes: he had to wear the cast-offs of his fat cousin. And he was not allowed to ask questions, or make himself heard, at all.

One day, just before the boy turned eleven, he was introduced to the magical world when his school letter came. Although the mean Muggles didn't like it, they had to let him go, and the little boy found out there were more people like him. He even made some friends.

Not all was well, though. His first friend had a younger sister, who was starstuck with the little boy, and wanted him as her husband. But she never really spoke to the little boy, and only pretended to like the things he did to catch his interest. The little boy didn't even really know the girl was there, he only saw her as the little red-haired sister of the boy who was his friend.

One day, another girl also decided to trap the little boy and make him her husband. This girl's mother was a witch who had used a love potion to trap her own husband long ago, so she taught the girl how to brew an evil potion for her own use.

The sneaky girl brewed the potion in secret, and put it in the little boy's food. But her plan went wrong: instead of the little boy, his best friend at the food. Suddenly the boy's friend thought the sneaky girl was to be the most beautiful girl in the whole world, and he wanted to marry her.

The little boy realised something was wrong, and helped his friend get an anti-dote, so the sneaky girl's plans were fooled. All seemed well again, but his friend's sister had now gotten an idea. She also knew about love potions, and made her own cauldron full of them. But other than the sneaky girl, she made sure that the little boy was the only one who ate the poisoned food.

The little boy fell in love with the red-haired girl as she had planned, and she was happy. The little boy didn't realise something was wrong, and neither at first did his friends. You see, there was danger all around them, and they were more concerned with that.

Eventually the little boy stopped the danger – and that is a story for another day – and he got back to the red-haired girl. Strangely, he didn't think she was all that beautiful any longer, and he didn't think he liked her that much. But as soon as she gave him something to drink, that passed, and he was happy again.

The red-haired girl's mother started to plan a wedding, and everyone was invited. Among these were two of the little boy's friends, a beautiful brunette witch, and a little blonde fairy. They asked the little boy if he really wanted to marry the red-haired girl, because they knew that it was a little strange. You don't marry someone you never really spoke to, after all.

The little boy told them he was sure, and nothing was wrong. And so the wedding preparations continued, until the day itself came. The little boy was wearing the nicest clothes you could imagine, and the red-haired girl was wearing a pretty white dress.

The boy's friends were also wearing pretty dresses. They still weren't sure why he wanted to marry the red-haired girl, but they want to support their friend.

The druid spoke of the vows the little boy and red-haired girl would soon make to each other, and told them what a marriage was all about. And a small voice inside the little boy began to speak up that something was wrong.

The druid took a cord, and bound their hands together, to signify their promise. And the small voice became louder, insisting something was wrong.

And then the druid asked them if they were entering their union by their free will. The red-haired girl said she was, and waited for the little boy. At that moment the small voice won, and the little boy loudly declared that he did not want to marry the red-haired girl after all.

Now, as you can imagine, that was really surprising to a lot of people. The red-haired girl and her mother got really angry, and told the little boy he was making a mistake. But the brunette witch and blonde fairy stood by him, and told everyone they had always suspected something was wrong.

There was a healer in the crowd, and she inspected the little boy. To everyone's surprise, except the little boy's, she found that someone had used love potions on him. Everyone was quite upset at this, people called it underhanded and a betrayal.

The little boy agreed. He told the red-haired girl he would never marry her, and left, his friends following.

It took a long time before the little boy trusted his own feelings again, but when he did, he realised he still had two very good friends. And he liked both of them. That day, he asked the witch and the fairy if they would both want to marry him.

They said yes, of course, since it had been their dream for long as well. So a few months later three people stood in front of the same druid from before, and he asked the same question. This time, the little boy said yes, and meant it.

And they lived happily ever after."

"And what happened next, daddy?" the little girl asked, yawning a bit.

"The little boy and his two wives had the most beautiful children, one of them a little girl who should be asleep now," a new voice came. In the door stood two young women, a noticeably pregnant brunette, and a blonde with the same airy look as the little girl.

"Good night daddy, mummies," the little girl said, yawned once more, and closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>AN: One of the most saccharine sweet things I ever wrote. Originally written for round 12 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, where I had to write something to do with Andersen's fairy tale 'Thumbelina'. I thought I could use the theme of the story - runaway bride - but turns out I had to use the most common element of the story, someone shrinking, instead. That story is also up by now as its own separate entry as all my QLFC stories are.

Unbeta'd.


	15. Happy Birthday (poem)

Happy Birthday

It is dark, cramped, and cold

The boy shivers and curls up in a ball

Today is his birthday, he's eight years old

Not that he knows, or anyone cares at all.

x-o-x

Today was not a good day for the young man

He was clumsy with the stove, and burnt some food

His aunt yelled and hit him on the head with a pan

Then he was thrown in his cupboard, while she raged at him good:

x-o-x

"Just a worthless extra mouth to feed!

"Just like that no good sister I had

"Where was _she_ in _my_ hour of need?

"What, crying? Be grateful, you cad!"

x-o-x

Little Harry Potter, locked up all alone

His head hurts, throbbing like mad

He falls asleep finally, stiff as bone

'_I wish someone cared_', his last thought to be had.

* * *

><p>AN: Written for the Quidditch League Season Three Round One Bonus Competition

I never write poetry (as you can no doubt tell)...


	16. Seven Deadly Sins: Gluttony

**Gluttony**

The Hogwarts kitchens never run out of food: if a student wanted to, he or she could stay at the dinner table from half past four all the time up to six and eat non-stop, secure in the knowledge that the House-Elves would continually send up new plates.

Still, that's not enough for some. Peter Pettigrew looks with envy at the box of home-made cookies sitting on the night-stand belonging to his room-mate James. James has it great... born to a rich Pure-blood family, heir to the House of Potter and a star Chaser to boot. His mother, Dorea, dotes on him almost obsessively and sends him cookies or other snacks at least once a week. Peter though? His parents are poor, and he is lucky they could afford to send him to Hogwarts at all. He loves his mother and father of course, but he does not get home-made cookies made with the finest ingredients.

Peter is roused from his thoughts as his dorm-mates come back to the room.

"You've got to be joking, mate! There's no way Puddlemere stand a chance against the Magpies this Season. Didn't you see how fast the Magpies' Seeker was in the last few matches?" Sirius looks at James as if James has lost his mind.

"But Puddlemere has a great team strategy, and – oh, hey Pete," James cuts himself of as he greets his friend. "What're you doing up here? I thought we'd agreed to meet you-know-where to work some more on the you-know-what?" James winks at Sirius.

Peter forces away a sneer. James and Sirius are the best of friends, and even quiet, rule-following Remus is closer to them both than he is. But Peter was there first! They came into his cabin at the Express a few years ago, so shouldn't he be their best friend?

"Pete? Is something wrong?" Sirius asks, bringing Peter back to the present again.

Peter smiles slightly. "Nah, I'm fine. You two go ahead, I just need to finish my History essay and then I'll join you. The Map is nearly done though, isn't it?"

"Hush, don't let the others hear," James chastises him briefly. "Okay, good luck. If you see Remus first, tell him Siri and I are already there, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," Peter says. His frown re-appears when he sees the two boys leave, laughing. He lied. There is no History essay to complete, he did that last night. Not that they really would care if he was running behind…

He has emptied James' box of cookies before he realises it, almost. But it's not his fault: James should have offered to share. (Peter ignores the thought that had he asked, James gladly would have done so.)

He looks down at the now empty box for a moment, then decides to put it under Sirius' covers. Maybe he'll get lucky, and James and Sirius will fight over it... he can then go in and try to replace either as the other's best friend.

He grins to himself as he goes to kitchens, intent on grabbing a snack before he joins his 'friends' to work on their Hogwarts Map.

* * *

><p>AN: Written as part of a collaborative fic, 'Seven Sins of the Marauder Era' where we all wrote about one of the Deadly Sins as it applies to a character from the Marauder time.

Please check out the full fic (story ID #11322626) as well!


	17. This One Time

**This one time…**

It was a lazy summer after a frankly quite horrible 'school' year in which Harry had to fight for his life. Currently he sat on a comfortable outdoor bench at the Weasley home, just watching the people around him. Both he and Hermione had been invited to stay with the ginger family, to recover from the final battle that had almost cost Fred his life. Only his brother's quick thinking had made it so Fred was hurt, not dead.

Harry grinned as he watched the twins' antics. If it weren't for George's lost ear you still couldn't tell them apart - and no matter how much he said he would, everyone knew not even Fred was crazy enough to cut his own off to make them match.

His gaze passed over Hermione, who had been working on some kind of essay for the past hour or so. She had decided to make up for lost time and finish her seventh year after all, and was already working on school work… Harry wasn't sure what he wanted to do yet.

Harry looked at the others. Ron and Ginny were flying on their brooms in a kind of pick-up game against Bill and Percy, although by the time Harry started to figure out who was winning they were already coming back down for a drink.

Harry was bored. "Hey Ron," he called. "What do wizards do for fun?"

"Well, Quidditch, right?"

"Besides that?" Harry loved flying, but he was a little too lazy for that right now.

Ron seemed lost in thought for a moment. "There's chess… fancy a go, mate?"

"Nah, I'll pass. You always win. Anything else?"

"I dunno mate. Gobstones maybe?"

Harry let out a groan. "Come on, Ron. Is there nothing else you do for fun? Why don't you tell me about something you guys did last summer? What does a pureblood family do for fun?"

Ron's eyes lit up. "Well, this one time, one of our neighbours' goats got loose. The entire village formed a search party to track it down. We all got drunk on butterbeer and then we chased after it." Ron started to laugh, the other Weasleys (the twins and Ginny) joining in.

"And?" Harry prompted after a while.

"Well, Percy found it, right? It was hilarious… there the goat was, stuck between two trees. So Percy got behind it, dropped his trousers, and gave it a good shag. We all joined in after that of course."

Percy laughed with Ron as Harry saw the twins nod, a dumb grin on their face. He shared a look with Hermione, who looked as disgusted as he was. Still, he was bored, so he tried again.

"Err… right. Anything you did for fun that does _not_ involve an animal?"

Ron nodded, "Sure, mate. This one time, Ginny and I were playing hide-and-seek in the back yard, but she ran off into the forest and I couldn't find her. So mum made us go look for her. We all got together, got drunk, and went looking. It was hilarious… Ginny had tried to hide in a rabbit hole, but had gotten stuck. So Fred got behind her, flipped up her skirts, and gave her a good shag. We all joined in after that, of course."

The Weasleys present all laughed, even Ginny's giggle could be heard.

"Alll… all of you?" Hermione broke the quiet.

"Yeah, of course," Ron exclaimed. "First the twins, then me, then Bill, Dad, and Percy. It was hilarious, right Gin?"

Fred was grinning like a loon while George playfully slapped his twin's shoulder. Ginny looked at the ground, blushing from the tip of her ears all the way down to her neck line, as Ron laughed.

Harry shared a look of absolute disgust with Hermione.

"Err... right," Harry tried again after a while, as the Weasleys stopped laughing. "Come on Ron… don't you have anything funny to recall that does _not_ involve animals… or your sister?"

Ginny suddenly piped up: "Oh, I know! This one time, _Ron_ got lost and we all went out to find him…"

Twin cracks of apparition were heard and Harry and Hermione re-appeared at Grimmauld Place, vowing to never date a Weasley again.


	18. Do I look like a ?

**Do I _look_ like a?**

"Ronald, when are you going to fix the bedroom door?"  
>Ron looked up from the <em>Daily Prophet<em> to see his wife of six months, Hermione, standing in the kitchen door, her hands on her hips and an annoyed expression he knew all too well on her face.

"Hrmh? What's wrong with it?" he asked, chewing on a bacon sandwich as he spoke.

"Honestly Ronald, don't talk with your mouth full," Hermione said, then let out a sigh. "And I told you a million times, it's all crooked from last time George came over and he crashed into it while drunk."

"Why don-cha use a Repairo or somewhat?" Ron continued chewing.

"It's _Reparo_ Ron, and you know that spell doesn't work well on wood."

"Yeah yeah, do I _look_ like a carpenter? Maybe later. Gotta get to the Ministry, Shack will be all over me if I'm late for Auror training again… 'ta!" And with an absent-minded kiss on her cheek he hopped in the fireplace to floo out, leaving a frustrated wife behind.

-x-x-x-x-

"Ronald, the door is still crooked. And when you're done fixing that, you can help me prepare the garden," Hermione said at the breakfast table.

"What? Do I _look_ like a gardener?" Ron complained, chewing on his bacon sandwich. "Hey did you see the Quidditch stats? The Cannons have -"

"Ronald, you _promised_ me you'd help out with the garden," his wife interrupted him. "You know I'm pants at landscaping spells, and do you really expect me to clear out the rocks and weeds to make room for my vegetables by my self?"

"Ugh, stop your nagging," Ron grumbled. "I'm busy, Shack wants me to do some extra training over the weekend. I'll do it later, okay?"

"Make sure you do," she huffed in response. Ron kissed her cheek and left.

-x-x-x-x-

"Ronald, what about the bedroom, my garden, and did you think about the floo ward? I'm getting tired of cleaning all the dust whenever someone comes through," Hermione said in a long-suffering voice.

"Not now honey, I'm busy," Ron dismissed her, reading the paper. "I'll do the door and that garden of yours later, and as for the floo, do I _look_ like a Warder?"

"I don't care what you look like, _Ronald Billius Weasley_. I want those things done before the weekend, understood?" Hermione stood next to the kitchen table, glaring at him.

"Morgana's tits, woman! I'm busy with training! Ask Harry to do it or something, lucky bastard is done with basic already…"

"Maybe I will, at least _he_ gets things done!"

"Yeah, yeah. I bet if you ask him, he'll be right over. Later, honey." This time she was turning away from him as he tried to kiss her cheek before he flooed out.

-x-x-x-x-

Ron returned home, tired from a rough day of training. "Honey, I'm home! What's for dinner?" he called, getting no response.  
>As he stepped into the parlor he noticed he wasn't leaving a trail of soot behind as he usually did, and as he made his way to the (empty) kitchen he could see his unruly backyard now looked very different.<br>All the rocks had been cleared out and two nice looking vegetable patches had been created, and there were even flowers growing there now.  
>"Wow, she's been busy," he mumbled to himself as he went upstairs. The lights were out but he could still see the bedroom door was not half falling from its hinges, instead it looked like new. He opened the door and saw his wife lying in bed, her hair wild on the pillow and a sheen of sweat all over as she snoozed.<br>"Honey?" he asked quietly , touching her by the shoulder.

She woke instantly. "Oh! Ron! You're home!" Awake she looked even more exhausted somehow, Ron thought.

"Hi, honey. Rough day? I saw you took care of the floo, garden, and bedroom door," he commented.

She stretched, causing the sheet to fall away and revealing she was completely naked, and covered in sweat. Ron grinned, that wasn't like her at all… she never went to bed wearing anything less than a night gown.

"Oh, I didn't, Harry did it all," Hermione said, then yawned before continuing, "He took care of _everything_… the garden, the floo ward, and the bed… the crooked bedroom door." Her cheeks were slightly flushed, Ron noticed.

"Ah, good on him. How did you convince him to help out?"

"Well, I called him and explained that I had a lot of things in he home you were neglecting," she said. Ron winced a little at the phrasing she chose. "Harry of course offered to come over straight away, but I felt that would be taking advantage of him, so I asked what he wanted in return."

"Smart move, honey. So, what did he ask for?"

"You know Harry, he has a sweet tooth. He asked me for some treacle tart in return. I said we didn't have any, so he said in that case he wanted something equally as sweet… me." Ron saw her blush intensify.

"Good ol' Harry, always the joker. So how did he like his treacle tart? Any left for me?"

"What treacle tart? Honestly, Ron, do I _look_ like a baker?"

Ron stared at his wife in confusion as she got up from the bed and walked past him into their bathroom, her gait unsteady as if her legs couldn't quite support her. She really was flushed all over, and had strange white spots on her inner thighs...

* * *

><p>AN: Another take on an old joke!  
>Apologies to everyone waiting for new chapters for my longer fics. I've had very little free time available, but as of next month I'll have more time off. My goal is to get back to a more regular update schedule.<p> 


	19. Remedial Potions

**Remedial Potions**

His instructor regarded him with a stern look. "And how do we start, Mister Potter?"

"Erm... we prepare the ladle?"

"Wrong. First, we prepare the cauldron. Tell me, Mister Potter, what state should it be in before you may begin?"

Harry fidgeted in place as he looked in his memory for the answer. "Erm..."

He was taking too long, his instructor was not happy. "Mister Potter. It should be..."

"I know! It should be clean, hot, and sufficiently wet!" Harry shouted.

His instructor frowned, then nodded. "Very well. Get to it then."

For the next ten minutes Harry carefully put the cauldron in its position and applied the proper pressure and attention to get it in the state his instructor demanded.

"I'm finished, Professor," Harry said, grinning.

The heat was getting to his instructor, sweat was running from their forehead as they inspected his work by carefully reaching for it with one hand. "Ah... adequate work, Mister Potter... now, what is the next step?"

"Preparing the spoon?"

"Wrong, Mister Potter. We use a _ladle_ with cauldrons, not a spoon." His instructor looked a little annoyed.

"Preparing the ladle, I meant."

"Very well. And how should it be prepared?"

"It must be firm and warm, and not a little wet to prevent... erm..."

"To prevent fric–"

"To prevent friction, yes, that's what I meant."

"Correct. Get to it, then."

"Erm... could you... assist me?"

"Merlin, you _are_ helpless aren't you? Very well..." His instructor knelt down before him to get the ladle from its hiding place. Harry looked down as his teacher made sure it was of the proper temperature, firmness, and was as firm as it could possibly be.

"Ah.. I... ah... think it's ready," Harry stammered, holding on to the desk behind him for support as his instructor was diligently preparing Harry's instrument.

"Good thing you warned me, Mister Potter. We wouldn't want to have an _accident_, now do we?" His instructor smirked, standing back up.

"No... ah... definitely not. Erm... I should make sure you're –"

"–My cauldron is still ready? Good thing you remembered, Mister Potter, but don't worry. I assure you it is still _very_ hot and wet."

Harry seemed lost for thought for a moment, just holding his ladle in his right hand as he looked at the cauldron.

"Mister Potter? The next step?" His instructor prompted him. Harry looked up to see another smirk.

"Ah! Right... Next we insert the ladle into the cauldron and begin, erm, stirring?"

"Ten Points to Gryffindor," his instructor replied.

Carefully Harry guided the ladle to the cauldron. He ran it across the edge for a bit, getting familiar again with its shape and peculiarities, then slid it into the hot and wet place it belonged.

"Very... good... Mister Potter... now remember... stir gently at first."

"I won't let you down," Harry promised. Gently the ladle went in and out and at each new insertion Harry made sure to angle it just differently, until his instructor indicated he had found the perfect angle by grabbing onto his shoulders. Encouraged by this Harry increased the pace.

"So good... I mean... good job so far, Mister Potter... do you... think it's time for... for the ingredient yet?"

"Fuck yeah... Erm, yes, it's almost time..." Harry was sweating hard from all the hard work but he knew his instructor was right, he could not keep this up for much longer. "Ah... where... where should it, erm, go?"

"Inside! As deep inside as possible... oh... that's the spot..." Harry smiled, whenever they really got into it his instructor was absolutely passionate about Potions.

"Unh... here comes the wizard's milk..." Harry groaned as he deposited the white fluid deep inside the cauldron. A big part of him wanted to pull the ladle out now and call it quits, but his instructor had taught him well and Harry knew the cauldron needed to be stirred more before he was done. Therefore as soon as he could again, he continued his stirring, now focusing especially on the ridges and bumps on the cauldron side he knew his instructor liked best.

"Oh, Morgana! No more, it's done!" His instructor yelled out. Harry winced from the sharp nails digging into his back as his instructor clamped down around him.

"May I?" Harry asked after the trembling stopped. His instructor nodded at him, smiling, and Harry withdrew the ladle from the cauldron.

"Hold on, Mister Potter... the ladle should be clean before it's put away." Once more his instructor knelt down before him and began to clean the instrument, removing all traces from the special Potion they had just prepared. Releasing it again with an audible '_pop_', his instructor sat down in a wide, open chair nearby as Harry placed the ladle back.

"Did I do a good job, Professor?" Harry asked, grinning wide. The cauldron was overflowing a little, so he already knew he did.

"We'll see, Mister Potter, we'll see. If all went well I'll have some witch's milk for you in six or seven months..." His instructor placed a hand on their stomach, looking pleased.

Harry leaned in to kiss his instructor on the lips. Remedial Potions had really become fun ever since his best friend had taken over the lessons.

* * *

><p>AN: I know who his instructor is here but I deliberately left out any hint about it, or the timeline, so you can pretend it's about your own OTP if you like.

Another silly thing written basically in one go. Whenever I try to write a larger chapter I end up writing unrelated things instead... ah well. Not beta'd.


	20. Intruder in the Night

With a whispered '_Alohamora_' the window to the Gryffindor Sixth Year girls' dormitory slid open, and quietly a pair of legs descended on the windowsill, followed by the rest of the intruder. His method of entry was further revealed as he pulled a hovering broom inside and placed it next to the window.

All the girls were fast asleep but that did not stop him as he walked past their beds towards the one currently occupied by Katie Bell. He gently brushed away her hair a little and leaned closer to kiss her.  
>Katie may have been as asleep as the rest of the girls, as soon as the invader's lips touched hers she let out a moan as she kissed him back, her eyes not even open yet.<p>

Suddenly a female voice called out, "What is going on here!" Startled, the intruder jumped away from Katie's bed, only to find himself facing a wand held by an older woman standing in the doorway.

"Caught you red-handed," Professor McGonagall cried out. "What do you think you're – Mr. Potter?"  
>"Erm, hi, Professor," Harry mumbled.<br>"Mr. Potter, what on earth are you doing in the girls' dorms at this hour?" she demanded.

The girls were now all awake, some more than others, and even some girls from the other years dorms were descending and ascending the stairs to look at what was going on with the Sixth Years.

"Ah... I just came for some bed time fun," Harry answered her, finally.  
>"I see." Professor McGonagall's lips nearly disappeared as she pursed her lips into a line signalling her disapproval. "Obviously, this is not the first time. Mr. Potter, which of these... tramps... is your partner?"<p>

Harry shrugged. "All of them, I guess? I am not that picky... I was hoping for some fun with Katie tonight, but yesterday it was Angelina in Seventh Year, and the night before that I had some fun with Leanne over there." He thumbed back at the brunette, whose flush was almost of epic proportions.

"Seventh Year as well?" Professor McGonagall almost shrieked. "Are you telling me you... defiled... all the girls in _both_ years?"

"Ah, Fifth too," Harry admitted. "I mean, have you seen Lavender's tits? A man could get lost in those for weeks..."  
>The girl in question looked both pleased and upset at the same time, but licked her lips all the same as she shot Harry a sultry wink.<p>

"I... I have no words," Professor McGonagall stammered. "Mr. Potter, your nightly escapades end now! I'll deal with these morally deprived _ladies_ later but as for you, you're dealing with _me_ tonight!"

Harry looked at his teacher and gulped. Her wrinkled face, her general shape revealing she was definitely in the winter of her life...  
>"If it's all the same to you, ma'am... I'll take detention instead."<p>

* * *

><p>AN: Another old joke!

For those of you following _Nymphadora's Beau_, I have set aside some hours this weekend to write and hope to finally complete at least one new chapter. It looks like I might have some free time for at least a week or two so hopefully that means I can get my muse to cooperate a little.


	21. A drabble about a disgusting meal (HHr)

**Dare; Write a drabble of your OTP eating a disgusting meal.**

"And? How is it?" Hermione asked as Harry took the first bite.

"It's... ah... interesting," he answered her, swallowing and hiding a grimace. "A little... rubbery? What is it? Fish?"

Dead silence was broken by a half-choked, "It's _supposed to be_ chicken, Harry."

"Oh... uh... yes, that's what I meant," he quickly said, putting his fork down to take a sip of water. "It's certainly a... unique taste."

"You jerk, it can't be that bad, can it?" Hermione defiantly took a large bite herself. A moment later she half threw up, pushing the plate away in disgust. "It's horrible! Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry, I'm an absolute failure and –"

"Shh, it's okay," he said, rushing up to embrace her from behind. "You tried, that's what matters."

"I just don't understand! I followed the instructions in the cook book perfectly, but I still messed up!"

"Honey, listen, it's okay. I don't mind cooking for us all the time... you have your talents in other subjects."

"But... but what about the food?" she asked, half sniffling. Her answer came in the form of a passionate kiss.

"Mmm... I can get behind this alternative," Hermione said as the kiss broke off. "I love you."

"And I love you, Mrs. Potter," Harry answered her, leaning in for another kiss. Just before their lips met he added, "I'll ask Kreacher to warm us up a pizza in half an hour or so."

"Make it an hour, Mr. Potter... we should work up a good appetite first," she half growled before almost jumping on him.

* * *

><p>AN: Quick drabble for a truth or dare competition.


End file.
